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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24588718">The Matchmaker</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaGirl42/pseuds/TeaGirl42'>TeaGirl42</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Law &amp; Order: SVU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Fluff and Humor, matchmaker Noah</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:14:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>25,946</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24588718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeaGirl42/pseuds/TeaGirl42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah is a little boy on a mission...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Noah Porter Benson &amp; Olivia Benson, Rafael Barba &amp; Noah Porter Benson, Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>107</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>198</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Lost & Found</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Time for another Noah based story 😊</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p></p><div class="xcontrast">
  <p>Noah made his way along the long hallway looking up at the signs on the wall. They seemed bigger and more confusing than normal signs, the signs at school were lower down the wall and easier to read, even the ones that were really meant for the grown-ups.</p>
  <p>This building wasn't made for kids, it was made for grown-ups doing very important grown-up work, just like his mommy.</p>
  <p>He thought about his mommy for a moment, briefly considering how much trouble he was going to be in when she found out what he had done. Then he looked around, he wasn't sure he could find his way back anyway…better to move forward toward safety.</p>
  <p>As he walked toward some elevators in the corner he had to wait for a moment while the first crowd of grown-ups got on, then he could see the signs. He frowned and considered his options for a while, then a man double-took and asked him if he was okay.</p>
  <p>Noah explained what he was looking for and the man pointed his finger at one of the signs.</p>
  <p>"I think you need this floor, kid," he answered with slight concern in his voice, "...you know what number that is?"</p>
  <p>Noah nodded and said thank you, then the man continued to watch him with caution as he walked on to the elevator and stretched up to press the button.</p>
  <p>"You're expected?" The man asked Noah as the car started to move.</p>
  <p>Noah looked up at him and tilted his head. Expected? No, why would he be expected? That's why this visit would be a special surprise. He was about to reply when he remembered his conversation with Mommy about talking to strangers. The man seemed nice and had helped him to understand the signs…but he didn't really know him and the atmosphere in the elevator suddenly felt a little strange.</p>
  <p>He frowned at the man and stepped back toward the wall. "My mommy told me not to talk to strangers," Noah said cautiously.</p>
  <p>The man took a step back himself and held his hands up, "Hey, kid, I was just concerned. I just…"</p>
  <p>The small space fell silent and then the doors opened and Noah looked up to find that it was his floor, he stepped out and looked at the wall in front of him. Looking left and right a couple of times before a voice travelled through the doors as they closed behind him.</p>
  <p>"It's left, kid," the man told him with slight humor in his voice.</p>
  <p>Noah looked back to say thank you, but the man had gone. He briefly worried that he had been rude to the man. Was he actually a stranger? After all, he had helped him to find his way…but then he brushed off that thought and focused on the task at hand.</p>
  <p>He walked down the hallway, passed lots of big doors. Some were closed, some were open. He couldn't understand many of the words on the doors, but he felt sure that when he found what he was looking for he would recognise <em>that</em> door.</p>
  <p>"Are you lost?" A lady asked with a kind smile.</p>
  <p>Noah frowned and thought carefully, he didn't feel like he was lost, he felt like he was only just finding his way to where he was going…and maybe he was very nearly there.</p>
  <p>"No," Noah shook his head and stared up at the door next to him.</p>
  <p>"Are you looking for a particular door?" The lady asked. "Maybe a door with someone you know behind it?"</p>
  <p>Noah smiled, he liked this lady, she asked very sensible questions.</p>
  <p>"Yes…" Noah nodded happily.</p>
  <p>"Okay," she crouched down in front of him. "Maybe if you tell me who you are looking for I could help you to find them?"</p>
  <p>This seemed like a good idea, this lady probably worked here and might know exactly where to go…and his neck was getting very tired looking up at doors.</p>
  <p>"I'm looking for my Uncle Rafa," Noah said and looked back at the door. "Do any of these doors say Uncle Rafa's name?"</p>
  <p>The lady seemed to take a few seconds to think about who he could be talking about, which seemed odd to Noah because surely everyone knew his Uncle Rafa? He is very important.</p>
  <p>"Oh, wait," she smiled broadly and looked a little surprised, ", do you mean ADA Rafael Barba?"</p>
  <p>Noah grinned and bounced a little on the spot, he knew this lady seemed like she could be good at directions. "Uncle Rafa!" He bit his lip with excitement, "You know where he is?"</p>
  <p>"Sure I do," the lady nodded, "….he's a very important man, you know?"</p>
  <p>"Sure I do," Noah echoed. "My mommy says that he locks up bad guys."</p>
  <p>"He does," she pointed behind her, "…your Uncle Rafael is just down there, see that door?"</p>
  <p>He looked down the hallway and nodded.</p>
  <p>"Behind that door, you'll find a very nice lady called Carmen, she will be able to take you straight to your Uncle Rafael."</p>
  <p>Noah gasped thank you and ran quickly down the hallway, the lady watched him with a broad smile until he reached the door.</p>
  <p>He pushed open the door and found a little room with a desk…</p>
  <p>"Hello?" A pretty lady at the desk looked up at him and smiled.</p>
  <p>Noah smiled back, everyone seemed very surprised and happy to see him today. No wonder Uncle Rafa enjoyed his job so much.</p>
  <p>"Hello," Noah lifted his hand in a slight wave.</p>
  <p>"How can I help you today?" Carmen stood and walked around her desk before crouching in front of him.</p>
  <p>"Are you…" Noah thought back to his most recent instruction, this was turning out to be a very complicated day, "…are you Carmen?"</p>
  <p>Carmen smiled, "I am! And what is your name?"</p>
  <p>"My name is Noah and I am trying very hard to find my Uncle Rafa…" he sighed but looked a little hopeful, "…this building is very very big."</p>
  <p>Carmen looked surprised and then smiled widely, "You're looking for your Uncle Rafa?"</p>
  <p>Noah looked around the room and saw one more door in the corner. "Maybe you keep him in there?" He asked with a hopeful smile.</p>
  <p>Carmen laughed. "Well," she held out her hand, "…shall we go and have a look?"</p>
  <p>Noah grinned excitedly, "You think that he <em>might </em>be in there?"</p>
  <p>"Oh, I think that is very possible," Carmen smiled and then stood as Noah slipped his hand into hers.</p>
  <p>They walked forward, one slow step at a time, almost as though going on a hunt for a magic dragon, then when they reached the door Carmen looked down at him and brought her finger to her lips. "We're going on an Uncle Rafa Hunt!" She whispered and smiled.</p>
  <p>Noah nodded excitedly and brought his own finger to his lips as she knocked. He really did try to be good, but on hearing his Uncle Rafa's voice reply "Yes, Carmen?" he gasped excitedly and immediately raced into the room. He ducked in front of his new friend Carmen, ran around the giant-sized table and straight toward his voice.</p>
  <p>"Uncle Rafa! I found you!" Noah gasped excitedly and climbed up onto his lap as Barba registered his presence and automatically lifted him.</p>
  <p>As Noah wrapped his arms around his neck he saw Carmen smiling at them in the doorway.</p>
  <p>Barba brought his hand to the back of Noah's head. "Amigo, how are you…? What are you…?" He held Noah in his arms and looked at Carmen. "Is…" he tried to catch up, "…is Lieutenant Benson here?"</p>
  <p>Carmen blinked and then suddenly caught up, "Noah! He's Lieutenant Benson's son?"</p>
  <p>"She's not here?" Barba asked with concern and confusion. "He arrived here alone?"</p>
  <p>"Just popped his head around the door and announced he was looking for you," Carmen shrugged. "I know as much as you do." She looked at Noah, who was now sat happily on her boss's lap, smiling from ear to ear and playing with his tie. Who knew they were so close? Who knew that Barba was so good with kids?</p>
  <p>"Amigo, where's your mami?" Barba asked Noah softly in a tone that Carmen had never heard before.</p>
  <p>Noah looked up at the ceiling and thought, then looked back at his Uncle Rafa. "Mommy needed to work, she left me with a lady behind a big desk called…" he thought carefully, "…Debbie…?" He nodded, he was pretty sure that was right, "…but I know that this is the building you work in, and I haven't seen you for sooooooo long, and I missed you, so I came to find you."</p>
  <p>Barba's eyes widened and he grabbed his phone. "Noah, I saw you three days ago…" He pointed out as he called Olivia.</p>
  <p>Noah pouted and crossed his arms, "Three days is a looooooooooong time!"</p>
  <p><strong><em>"Benson!"</em></strong> Olivia answer quickly, she sounded stressed.</p>
  <p>"Liv, it's Rafael, I…" he started.</p>
  <p><strong><em>"Rafa, can I call you back? Noah is missing and…"</em> </strong>She began, sounding like she was on a knife-edge.</p>
  <p>"Liv, Liv…" he cut in quickly, "…that's why I'm calling, he just turned up in my office. Apparently he decided to come looking for me."</p>
  <p>Olivia let out a long breath and then he heard her move her cell away from her mouth. <em>"Everyone stand down, my friend works in the building and Noah somehow wandered off and found him. I'm sorry guys, I should have thought to check..." </em>Then he heard her talk to someone next to her, <em>"He's with Barba."</em></p>
  <p><em><strong>"He's okay?"</strong> </em>Olivia asked.</p>
  <p>"He's fine, Liv," Barba assured.</p>
  <p><strong><em>"I can't believe he just….!"</em></strong> Olivia gasped.</p>
  <p>Noah could hear their conversation and looked up at Barba with wide eyes.</p>
  <p>"It's okay, Noah…but you can't just wander off like that, it's not safe," Barba said with a balance of warmth and gravity.</p>
  <p><strong><em>"He's with you now?"</em> </strong>Olivia asked. He could hear her walking and then the sound of the elevator doors close.</p>
  <p>"Sat on my lap," Barba explained, "…he's okay, Liv, I swear."</p>
  <p><strong><em>"I'm on my way,"</em> </strong>she said softly, sounding completely exhausted.</p>
  <p>"I know that you are…" Barba said with a gentle smile and then he looked up to find Carmen still watching them affectionately.</p>
  <p>Noah rested his head on Barba's shoulder, "Uncle Rafa, am I in trouble?"</p>
  <p>Barba looked down at him and smiled, "A little, you scared your Mommy..."</p>
  <p><strong><em>"More than a little,"</em> </strong>Olivia corrected down the phone, but Barba could hear a slight smile in her voice now.</p>
  <p>The door outside opened and Olivia rushed through, "God, Noah, you really really scared me!" She hurried over and wrapped her son in her arms, leaving him on Barba's lap, then knelt in front of them and ran her hand over her little boy as though checking for injuries. "You're okay?"</p>
  <p>"I'm okay, Mommy," Noah said and reached out to grab Barba's tie again, "….I came to see Uncle Rafa!"</p>
  <p>"You can't do that, baby," Olivia said firmly, "…you can't just wander off."</p>
  <p>"I missed Uncle Rafa," Noah replied with a frown, "…I <em>knew</em> he was here and I found him!"</p>
  <p>"You did…" Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head, "…and I'd be far more impressed by that if you hadn't scared me so much!"</p>
  <p>"I'm always safe with Uncle Rafa," Noah pointed out.</p>
  <p>Olivia looked up at Barba and smiled, "You are…but you didn't know where he was, what if you hadn't found him? You never wander off, okay? Never? Next time you talk to me. If you'd told me that you wanted to see Uncle Rafa maybe I could have called him."</p>
  <p>Noah tilted his head and frowned. "I will always want to see my Uncle Rafa," he pointed out as though that was a ridiculous suggestion.</p>
  <p>Olivia laughed a little exasperatedly and dropped her forehead down onto Noah's lap, "You and <em>your </em>Uncle Rafa are going to drive me crazy!"</p>
  <p>Barba laughed now, "Hey, what have I done?"</p>
  <p>Olivia smiled up at him, her eyes dancing with amusement. "Everything and nothing!" She replied cryptically and then looked back at her son. "Can we go home now?"</p>
  <p>"Can Uncle Rafa come?" Noah asked.</p>
  <p>Olivia sighed, "I shouldn't reward you for being naughty…" she looked at Barba, "…can you?"</p>
  <p>He shrugged, "Sure, I was just finishing up, but…"</p>
  <p>Olivia looked at Noah, "If Uncle Rafa comes to dinner you have to promise that you will never do this again, okay? No wandering off, never?"</p>
  <p>Noah nodded solemnly.</p>
  <p>"Because if you do I'm withdrawing Uncle Rafa time," Olivia told him firmly and Noah's mouth fell open. "No bedtime stories, no Lego…"</p>
  <p>Noah's face dropped and his jaw started to tremble, "NO, Mommy!"</p>
  <p>"Hey, hey," Olivia assured, "…not now…just don't do this again, okay?"</p>
  <p>"Mommy is right, amigo," Barba added, "…this was <em>very</em> naughty."</p>
  <p>Noah looked between the two adults with wide watery eyes and then nodded, "I promise, I'm sorry. Story-time tonight?"</p>
  <p>Olivia chuckled softly, "One story, but early bed and no dessert."</p>
  <p>The little boy nodded at the compromise. "I'm sorry, Mommy," he added sadly, "I just wanted to see Uncle Rafa…"</p>
  <p>Olivia nodded and let out a long sigh, "Let's leave Uncle Rafa to finish up and we'll see him at home in a bit? Okay?"</p>
  <p>Noah nodded and reluctantly climbed down from Barba's lap. He watched his Mommy and Uncle Rafa exchange a few quiet words and then waved happily when the lawyer assured him that he would see him in an hour. He took his Mommy's hand and walked with her to the elevator, noticing that a lot of the grownups were looking at him funny - why were they all smiling like that?</p>
  <p>His Mommy pressed a button in the elevator and then looked down at him, she smiled and shook her head.</p>
  <p>Noah felt like this had been a very difficult day, he didn't want to have to go on an Uncle Rafa Hunt again. He liked that his Uncle Rafa was coming to visit tonight, and he knew that his Mommy liked when he visited as well…it would be so much easier if he didn't need to visit at all.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <em>TBC…</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Homework</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Olivia answered the door and smiled warmly, Barba had been home to change before coming over and taking into account the fact that it was Friday evening she knew that meant he was not in a rush to get home tonight.</p><p>"Hey," Olivia smiled and looked Barba up and down. He wore well-worn blue jeans, a blue polo shirt and a short zip-up jacket. He looked good, <em>really</em> good.</p><p>"Hey," he replied and gave her a funny look, trying to decipher something about the way she was looking at him. He smiled and nodded over her shoulder, his eyes dancing with humor. "Maybe I could come in?"</p><p>"Sorry! Yes, of course, come in…I was just…" Olivia laughed and shook her head, she followed him through into the living area. "So, you went home to change?"</p><p>Barba looked down at himself exaggeratedly as though only just noticing, then he smiled up at her. One of his completely disarming smiles, a smile she had only ever seen him share with her, one that crinkled his eyes and…really made Olivia want to kiss him.</p><p>"Well, it's Friday…" he shrugged, "…and I guess I thought when Noah went to bed we could have a drink, maybe watch a movie? Of course, you're more than free to kick me out whenever you want."</p><p>Olivia laughed softly, quietly thrilled by his suggestion. "That sounds perfect," she nodded as they moved through to the kitchen. "I haven't cooked, I thought I'd order in."</p><p>"I'm here for the company, not the cuisine," he assured, "…where is my young friend?"</p><p>She smiled, the bond he had developed with her son was as surprising as it was endearing. The truth was that she had always found him to be an extremely attractive man, but she might have been able to keep control of that attraction if their friendship and his relationship with Noah hadn't blossomed in the way it had.</p><p>Rafael Barba was everything he seemed to be to the outside world and a million things besides. This man was far from perfect…but she was beginning to wonder if he just might be perfect for <em>her.</em></p><p>Olivia nodded toward Noah's bedroom, "He's sorting through his Lego eagerly awaiting your arrival - so if he hears your voice he'll be out in a flash."</p><p>Barba smiled but kept his voice low for now, "Thank you for inviting me over tonight. I'm sorry - I feel like you didn't have much choice."</p><p>Olivia's eyebrows rose and she quickly shook her head, "Was I planning to invite you over? No, not really. Usually you're here for work and the evening just develops from there. I know I've never really just invited you to come to hang out with us before, but you're a single man and I'm a single mother with a kid. Just a few short years ago I was under the impression that you were all about high-class restaurants and yachts."</p><p>"I would hope you know better now?" Barba asked with a little concern.</p><p>She smiled at him warmly, "Of course, but I'm sure you have better things you could be doing with your Friday night."</p><p>"No," he replied simply and held her gaze.</p><p>"You've acquired more low-rent friends," Olivia teased as she poured him a glass of his favorite scotch and pushed it toward him across the counter.</p><p>He hated the way she was being so self-deprecating, as though there was anywhere in the world he would rather be than here with them. "This is the best place in town," he replied and sipped his drink, "…why do you think I gatecrash all the time?"</p><p>She laughed, "You never need to, Rafa, your name is <em>alway</em>s on the door."</p><p>Barba chuckled softly but Olivia could tell that he was touch by her words.</p><p>"And for the record," she added, "…I felt no pressure to invite you here tonight. I'm glad you're here to spend time with my son, you've come to mean a lot to him…but never forget that you are <em>mine </em>first."</p><p>She graced him with a teasingly affectionate smile and Barba had to remind himself that she was referring to being his friend first. He pushed forward. "Speaking of which how is my friend feeling after today? That must have been hard on you…?"</p><p>Olivia shrugged and then sighed. "I think my heart is still beating a little faster than normal, but…it's over, he's safe and I know I've got to move past it."</p><p>"You haven't <em>got</em> to do anything, Liv. Be as tough as you need to be around Noah, but you're allowed to admit to me that you were scared. Especially to me…" he looked at her with such sincerity that Olivia felt her heart start to race again, only this time it wasn't from fear.</p><p>"I was scared," she admitted softly, "…but I promise that those fears evaporated the moment I knew that he was with you."</p><p>He smiled and nodded.</p><p>"It did lead me to think though..." Olivia brushed aside the anxieties of her day and focused on what she wanted to talk to him about. "You can shut this down straight away if you want to, it's only a suggestion…" she paused and he nodded, "...but Noah obviously thinks the world of you, so how would you feel about maybe occasionally having a few hours alone with him?"</p><p>"How do you mean?" Barba tilted his head with interest.</p><p>"You could take him out, or maybe even take him to yours?" Olivia suggested. "I know it almost sounds like I'm suggesting visitation." She grinned broadly and he laughed a little. "I really don't know what I'm suggesting here and I'm sorry if it sounds like an imposition, but I want to encourage him to spend time with a good male role model and I really can't imagine better than you. He's growing up so quickly and I think today was partly a reaction to him needing that."</p><p>"You'd really feel comfortable with me taking him out alone?" Barba couldn't help but be surprised, Olivia was so careful with Noah and he didn't really have much experience with children.</p><p>Olivia laughed a little, clearly stunned by the question. "Of course I would, Rafa! I trust you unreservedly, you must know that?"</p><p>Barba was intensely touched by her complete faith in him and it took him a moment to respond.</p><p>"As I said, this is no pressure…" Olivia clarified, "…and I'll understand completely if you tell me that you wouldn't feel comfortable. However, Noah is obviously strongly drawn to you and I want to give you both the freedom to explore that. If that is what <em>you</em> want as well."</p><p>He shook his head and smiled in wonder, "No, no, I would love to spend a little more time with him…that would be amazing."</p><p>Olivia smiled broadly now. "Really? Rafa, Noah would be so happy…" she reached and briefly rested her hand on his forearm, "…let's not talk to him about it tonight though? I don't want him to feel like his behaviour today is being rewarded."</p><p>Barba nodded, "Of course…" he paused and then added, "…one condition though?"</p><p>She tilted her head a little and frowned with intrigue.</p><p>"Extra time with my little amigo will not cut into <em>our</em> time together? I kind of like spending time with his mom as well..." Barba was ostensibly joking but Olivia could also see the sincerity in his words and it warmed her heart.</p><p>Olivia laughed and fought her desire to leaned forward and kiss him. She nodded slowly and then 'jokingly' replied, "As I said, you were mine first."</p><hr/><p>An hour later and once Noah had discovered that his Uncle Rafa had arrived he had dragged all of his Lego out into the living area. He now sat on the floor in front of the couch, picking through his bricks trying to find all the brown pieces they would need to start his castle. After a while, he was distracted by his mommy and Uncle Rafa still talking in the kitchen.</p><p>Grown-ups liked talking a lot, but it seemed to Noah that his mommy and Uncle Rafa enjoyed talking the most - they must have a lot of important things to talk about.</p><p>Noah climbed up on the couch and looked over the back watching them carefully and maybe managing to hear one or two words in every sentence. They were definitely talking about him - the problem was that when they talked they stood very close together, so close that they were very quiet and hard to understand.</p><p>He watched and smiled a little, his mommy smiled differently when she talked to Uncle Rafa…he wondered whether they talked so quietly because they stood so close together, or they stood so close together because they couldn't hear each other from further apart.</p><p>"Am I still in trouble?" Noah asked after a minute or so.</p><p>"Are you listening to our conversation?" Olivia asked with a reluctant wry smile.</p><p>"No…" Noah replied and then added, "…you're being too quiet to listen very well."</p><p>Barba laughed, "You can't fault your boy on his honesty."</p><p>Olivia rolled her eyes and grinned at them both. "You're both going to give me a headache." Then she walked over to Noah and crouch down a little, "You understand that what you did today was very naughty?"</p><p>Noah thought for a second and then nodded. He knew how much he'd wanted to see his Uncle Rafa, but he also understood that no matter how good Mommy and Uncle Rafa are at catching the bad people there were still bad people out there. He'd caused his mommy to really worry about him and she had been upset, he didn't like that.</p><p>"I am sorry," Noah said and suddenly felt very sad.</p><p>"Hey," Olivia stood and picked up Noah when she saw that he was getting upset. "I worry because I love you and I want you to always be safe. So does Uncle Rafa. The last thing in the world that Uncle Rafa wants is for you to get hurt because you went looking for him. That would upset him as well."</p><p>Noah looked at Barba regretfully and nodded, "I'm sorry, Uncle Rafa."</p><p>Barba stepped around to them and rested his hand on the little boy's back. "I only want you to be safe and happy, Noah, I want that for both of you…" Noah watched his Uncle Rafa smile at his mommy and then look back at him, "…so can you promise me that you won't ever do that again? You always need to be with someone you know. That is usually mommy, but it could also be Lucy, or your teacher, or even me…but we <em>always</em> need to know where you are, okay?"</p><p>Noah nodded quickly, "I promise, Uncle Rafa." He looked at his mommy, "Am I still in trouble?"</p><p>Olivia smiled between the two of them, surprised at the overwhelming pride she felt for both her son and her friend, then she focused on Noah. "Still early bed and no dessert," she explained, "…but I think we've all had a hard day today, so it's time to put this all behind us."</p><p>"So I can still see Uncle Rafa? Just no alone gaps in-between?" Noah clarified.</p><p>Both grown-ups chuckled softly, smiled at each other again and then nodded.</p><p>Noah thought for a moment, he liked the thought of there being no gaps in-between. He had friends who lived with two grown-ups. Jacob had two daddies, that sounded like fun. Sophie lived with her mommy and her grandmother, she said that that was good because her grandmother picked her up from school almost every day. Some of his other friends had a mommy and a daddy at home. Some of his friends only lived with one grown-up and they also seemed very happy - but they didn't have an Uncle Rafa.</p><p>Noah felt like he didn't just want <em>two</em> grown-ups to live with. Maybe he wanted an extra…but he only wanted his Uncle Rafa.</p><p>"Do grown-ups ever live together?" Noah asked and looked between the two adults.</p><p>Olivia looked a little confused by the sudden change of topic but nodded. "Yes, Noah, they do. Sometimes when they leave their family home for the very first time young grown-ups have roommates, they live in the same house and have their own bedrooms."</p><p>Noah nodded, "And when young grown-ups get older?"</p><p>"Usually they get their own place, or they move in with…" Olivia paused, "…maybe a husband or a wife, or a girlfriend, or a boyfriend…"</p><p>"And they have their own rooms?" Noah checked.</p><p>Olivia looked at Barba, smiled and shrugged, "Well, no…usually when grown-ups have those very special friendships they share their bedroom."</p><p>Noah smiled, "So they keep each other company? Like sleepovers? Only every night?"</p><p>Barba chuckled and Olivia nodded, "Sure, I guess like sleepovers every night."</p><p>"So they're like…best friends?" Noah checked</p><p>Olivia nodded, "Sure, like very special best friends who have decided to share their lives together."</p><p>"That sounds nice..." Noah worked through all of this new information carefully. He thought his mommy would enjoy having a very special best friend to have sleepovers with every night, and there was no grown-up that she enjoyed being with as much as Uncle Rafa. If Uncle Rafa became her special best friend then he felt sure his mommy would be super happy...and he would have his Uncle Rafa all of the time. "I bet grown-ups really like that..." He looked between his mommy and Uncle Rafa. He didn't think that they were young grown-ups, they were definitely older than Lucy. "Why do you not have very special best friends?"</p><p>They both looked a little nervous now.</p><p>"Very special best friends sometimes take a long time to find," Olivia explained tentatively and then tried to move the conversation forward. "Also, I'm sure some grown-up friends do live together and have their own rooms, all families are different, Noah," she added.</p><p>"Is that what special best friends are? Family?" Noah checked.</p><p>"All sorts of different kinds of families, exactly," Olivia nodded proudly. "Noah, what is all this about?"</p><p>Noah smiled and wiggled a little in her arms. "I just wondered…can I go get ready to play now, please?"</p><p>Olivia laughed softly and put him down, then Noah ran back over to his Lego.</p><p>So grown-ups who lived together were usually 'special friends' and shared their bedroom? Mommy said that it was <em>possible </em>for grown-ups who lived together to have their own rooms, but that didn't seem to happen very often…so if Noah was going to be successful he thought it seemed wise to do some homework and find out more about special friends and how to make them.</p><hr/><p>Three days later, Carisi was typing up some notes so Olivia had left Noah sitting on a chair nearby while she had popped in for a quick meeting with Dodds.</p><p>He looked at his Uncle Sonny carefully and had a long think, was Uncle Sonny a young grown-up or an older grown-up? Or maybe something in-between? Grown-ups were complicated, it was so much easier at school because they were separated into age groups.</p><p>"Uncle Sonny, do you live with a friend?" Noah asked.</p><p>Sonny looked up at him, smiled and arched an eyebrow. "No…," he said tentatively, "…I live alone."</p><p>Noah nodded slowly, assimilating and then checking, "So you are an older grown-up but you do not have a special best friend to share your bedroom with?"</p><p>Both of Sonny's eyebrows raised now, this was heading into interesting territory. He smiled and nodded, "Erm…no, I guess not…"</p><p>"Okay, so…how do you choose a special best friend?" Noah asked.</p><p>Sonny's eyes widened and then he thought for a moment before commencing slowly, "Well, I guess a lady who…"</p><p>"So it would have to be a woman?" Noah asked.</p><p>Sonny smiled, "In <em>my</em> case…but some men like men, and some women like women…all people are different."</p><p>Noah nodded, "Grown-ups are <em>very</em> complicated."</p><p>Sonny laughed lightly, "We sure are, I guess that's what makes us all so interesting."</p><p>Noah laughed and then prompted him again, "So…?"</p><p>"Someone who…" Sonny thought before continuing, "…is smart, kind, funny…funny is <em>very</em> important."</p><p>Noah nodded, mentally noting all of this down.</p><p>"But you know, it's more than just a list of things that you want, Noah. When grown-ups fall in love it's…it's indescribable…they find something with each other that they could not find with anyone else," Sonny looked at him and suddenly wondered if he was confusing his young friend or getting too deep.</p><p>"So…" Noah thought carefully, "…grown-ups who live together and share a bedroom...they are 'in love'?</p><p>"Usually…" Sonny smiled and leaned forward to ruffle his hair. "If they're happy they are usually very much in love, buddy."</p><p>"Ohhhhhh…" Noah smiled broadly and then frowned a little. "So how do you know if people are in love?"</p><p>"Are you thinking of getting a job at eHarmony?" Sonny joked.</p><p>Noah looked confused.</p><p>"I think you're too young to be looking for love…?" Sonny smiled.</p><p>Noah pulled a disgusted expression, "Ewwww!"</p><p>"So you're…" he glanced over at Olivia's office, "…Noah is this about your mommy?"</p><p>"How do you know?" Noah asked again.</p><p>Sonny decided to let it go, answering his question couldn't do any harm. He thought and then finally said, "I think maybe one sign that people are in love is when they want to take care of each other. They notice if something is wrong, even when no one else does…because when you love someone you want them to be happy more then anything else in the world."</p><p>Noah nodded and then smiled at him, "Thank you, Uncle Sonny, you've been very helpful."</p><p>Sonny chuckled and shrugged, "That's my pleasure, kid."</p><hr/><p>The next day at school Noah sat thinking about what his Uncle Sonny had told him about being 'in love'. He guessed that being in love didn't happen as often as meeting friends, because he had a lot of friends already and grown-ups only have <em>one</em> special best friend.</p><p>This was going to be more difficult than he had expected. What if he wanted to live with Mommy and Uncle Rafa, but Mommy and Uncle Rafa were not 'in love'? Grown-ups were really complicated and lots of hard work.</p><p>"It's not like you to daydream, Noah, is there something wrong?" Miss Arlington asked softly and perched nearby. It was 'play and reading' time so everyone was off doing their own thing.</p><p>"I was thinking," Noah explained. "Miss, are you in love?"</p><p>Miss Arlington smiled broadly, "Well, yes, Noah, I am. Why?"</p><p>"I'm wondering about special best friends, my mommy told me that when grown-ups get older they sometimes live with their special best friends and share a bedroom…" Noah explained.</p><p>The teacher laughed softly, "That's true…"</p><p>"Well, how do I know?" Noah asked.</p><p>Miss Arlington's eyes sparkled with humor, "You're a little young for special best friends, Noah."</p><p>Noah laughed, "No! I mean my mommy, how do I know if my mommy's friend is her <em>special</em> best friend?"</p><p>"Is there something you're not happy about?" She asked cautiously.</p><p>"Yes…" Noah thought, "I mean no…" he frowned and thought harder. "I'm very happy," he assured, "…but I love my Uncle Rafa very much and I would really like us to be together forever. I like seeing him, but I don't get to see him nearly enough…that would be easier if his bedroom was just next door with my mommy."</p><p>Miss Arlington laughed now and moved to sit next to him, "Those are some big thoughts, Noah. Is Uncle Rafa your mommy's boyfriend?"</p><p>Noah thought and then shook his head, "I don't think so…mommy and Uncle Rafa work together. My Uncle Sonny said that special best friends are 'in love', that's a special kind of love, right?"</p><p>"That's right…" Miss Arlington nodded a little cautiously.</p><p>"So, my Uncle Sonny said that people who are in love look after each other, they see if they are sad or poorly and want to make it all better. How do <em>you</em> think you can tell when people are in love?" Noah asked.</p><p>Miss Arlington hummed thoughtfully and then smiled, "I think a good sign is when they want to know all about your day. They are excited to see you and want to find out how your day has been. Has it been good, or bad...maybe there is something to celebrate…or maybe the other person had a bad day and needs a hug."</p><p>Noah nodded, "I love my mommy and Uncle Rafa very much, and I love when they tell me all about their day - last week they had an exciting day with a judge and when Uncle Rafa came to visit he brought ice-cream." He bit his lip and suddenly thought that he needed to keep track of this complicated information. He opened his backpack, took out a notebook and then looked up, "Miss, how do you spell 'ask'?"</p><p>"A-s-k…" she replied and then watched Noah carefully write.</p><p>Miss Arlington tilted her head to see what he had written, smiled and then secretly hoped that Noah would get his wish.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>TBC….</em>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Play Date</h2></a>
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      <p>On the following Saturday Noah excitedly rushed around his room throwing random things into his backpack. What does a boy pack when he's told to prepare for a surprise day out?</p>
      <p>He was running for the door when he suddenly spun around grabbed Eddie and then shoved him inside the top of his open bag.</p>
      <p>By the time he reached the living area, he was a little breathless with excitement. "Mommy! I-I'm ready!" He grinned and held out his bag.</p>
      <p>Olivia started to look through what he had packed and laughed softly. "Baby, where do you think you're going?"</p>
      <p>Noah's eyes widened, "I don't know where I'm going, Mommy. That's why I need to plan for absolutely anything!"</p>
      <p>He watched his mommy put his bag onto the kitchen counter and reveal a pair of balled socks.</p>
      <p>"I could get wet," Noah pointed out.</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled, "I think your socks will be fine, baby," she promised as she put them on the counter with a reassuring smile. Then she took another dive into the backpack and pulled out a plastic sandwich bag. "Lego?"</p>
      <p><em>"Emergency</em> Lego," Noah explained solemnly.</p>
      <p>"You won't need your emergency Lego," Olivia smiled and placed it next to his socks.</p>
      <p>Noah sighed and glanced at his Lego a little sadly.</p>
      <p>"You'll get tired and fed up if you have to carry a heavy bag around all day," Olivia explained.</p>
      <p>"Mommy, where are we going?" Noah pleaded a little desperately.</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled at his excitement, "Actually <em>we</em> aren't going anywhere. I'm staying right here - I have some work to do and then I'm going to make us dinner."</p>
      <p>Noah looked confused, "But you said that we had a surprise day out?"</p>
      <p>She pulled a bottle of shampoo out of his bag, arched her eyebrow and then wordlessly put it to one side. "I actually said that <em>you</em> were going on a special day out…" Olivia corrected with a grin, already knowing how thrilled he would be when the surprise was revealed.</p>
      <p>"Lucy is coming?" Noah looked a little deflated, he loved Lucy but he thought that this was going to be a Mommy outing.</p>
      <p>"No…" Olivia smiled secretively, her eyes sparkling.</p>
      <p>Now he really was confused, but his mommy looked so excited that he began to get a little more intrigued.</p>
      <p>"I need to take some lunch?" Noah asked, trying a new angle for his questioning.</p>
      <p>"Your play date is going to take you out for lunch…" Olivia teased.</p>
      <p>Noah's mouth dropped open a little and he watched as his mommy emptied even more of his useful things from his bag and onto the counter.</p>
      <p>"How about you take an apple," she turned and opened the refrigerator, "…a drink, your inhaler, …and Eddie?" She compromised.</p>
      <p>He was about to ask more questions but there was a knock at the door.</p>
      <p>"That will be your play date," Olivia told him as she packed his things quickly and then walked toward to door.</p>
      <p>Noah watched with his head tilted as his mommy disappeared out of sight. Then moments later, when he recognised his Uncle Rafa's voice, his mouth dropped open and his legs started running, almost of their own accord. "Uncle Rafa! Uncle Rafa! Uncle Rafa!" Noah gasped as he rounded the corner and collided with Barba's legs.</p>
      <p>After a moment Noah turned back to grin excitedly at his mommy and was surprised to see that she looked sad. "You're crying, Mommy. Are you sad?" He asked.</p>
      <p>Olivia chuckled and swiped at her eyes. "I'm happy, Noah," she assured, "…I'm just happy to see you so excited about your day."</p>
      <p>Noah frowned, unsure why happy feelings would lead to sad tears.</p>
      <p>"Are you really okay?" Barba asked Olivia softly.</p>
      <p>Noah looked between his Uncle Rafa and mommy, Uncle Rafa certainly seemed to understand why his mommy was crying. Noah watched him reach out and run his hand down her arm before quickly squishing her hand with his. He'd never seen Uncle Rafa do that before, but when he looked back at his mommy he saw her smile.</p>
      <p>"I'm fine, Rafa, honestly," Olivia assured, "…you're sure today is still okay? I know you had a busy day yesterday, how is the case going?"</p>
      <p>"It's good," he assured, "…I promise. I'll tell you all about it later, but right now I think that some time with this little man is exactly what I need."</p>
      <p>Noah stood watching the two grown-ups with growing fascination. He wondered if he should go and get his notebook, he wasn't sure what he would write but this all seemed like it could be important.</p>
      <p>"Mommy…" Noah spoke and both grown-ups looked down at him almost as though they had forgotten he was there. "I really need to take my notebook and a crayon."</p>
      <p>Olivia looked a little puzzled, then smiled at Barba and shrugged. "Well okay, if you<em> really </em>need it," she agreed, pleased that he seemed to want to write or draw.</p>
      <p>They all walked into the kitchen area and Olivia re-packed his notebook and his favorite blue crayon. "Everything?" She checked with a smile and Noah nodded happily before watching his mommy zip up the bag.</p>
      <p>"How has your morning been, okay?" Barba checked-in as Olivia crouched down to slip the bag onto Noah's back.</p>
      <p>"Good," she looked up with a smile. "I'm going to cook later, will you stay?"</p>
      <p>"I'd love to, thank you," Barba replied and then held his hand out to Noah. "Are you ready to go?"</p>
      <p>"We're really going out? Just you and me?" Noah checked excitedly, briefly forgetting about his research.</p>
      <p>"We are. It's a nice day, so I was thinking that we could visit the lake in Central Park, then get some lunch?" Barba suggested.</p>
      <p>Noah bounced on the spot, "Yes, please!"</p>
      <p>"You boys be good," Olivia smiled at them both, "…don't be late for your dinner, and Noah, please make sure that Uncle Rafa doesn't fill up on junk food. Only one treat each, okay?"</p>
      <p>Noah laughed and leaned into Barba as he took his hand. "Because you worry about him?" He asked.</p>
      <p>Olivia laughed, then smiled at Barba before nodding at her son and leaning down to kiss him goodbye. "Sure I do, sweetheart, now you two take care of each other, okay?"</p>
      <p>Noah smiled and nodded. His research was going really well so far and spending time with Uncle Rafa was going to be so much fun…and very helpful.</p>
      <hr/>
      <p>Noah climbed up onto the bench next to Barba and held out his apple. "You want some?" He asked.</p>
      <p>Barba smiled at him and then leaned down to take a small bite. "Thank you, Noah," he said gratefully and then looked up and noticed Lucy walking nearby.</p>
      <p>Noah followed his Uncle Rafa's look of recognition, smiled excitedly and bounced off the bench.</p>
      <p>"Lucy!" Noah called out and then jumped into her path.</p>
      <p>"Hey, Noah!" Lucy smiled happily and glanced around. Not expecting him to be with anyone but his mother she didn't immediately notice Olivia's friend nearby and quickly looked concerned.</p>
      <p>"Where's Mommy?"</p>
      <p>Noah grinned proudly, "Mommy is at home, I'm on a day out with my Uncle Rafa!" He looked over at him and Lucy turned to see that Barba had gathered their things and was now stepping toward them.</p>
      <p>"Good morning, Lucy," he nodded.</p>
      <p>Lucy was surprised but thrilled to see them out together, Noah had often spoken of her mother's friend and she knew how much this would mean to him. "Mr Barba, are you after my job?" She asked with a polite smile.</p>
      <p>"Rafael, please," he corrected with a relaxed tone that she had rarely noticed during their brief meetings, "…and don't worry, as much as I will enjoy stepping in occasionally your job is safe."</p>
      <p>"Uncle Rafa is taking me to visit the lake and then we are going to have some food!" Noah told Lucy excitedly.</p>
      <p>"Well, that sounds like lot's of fun!" Lucy told Noah, matching his excitement.</p>
      <p>Barba's phone started to ring and he pulled it out of his pocket. He frowned at the screen and then looked at Lucy. "This will only take a moment, I would have ignored it if you weren't here but could you…?" He nodded at Noah.</p>
      <p>Lucy smiled, "Of course, Mr - I mean, Rafael…you take your call. Noah and I can have a quick chat, can't we, Noah?"</p>
      <p>"You're not leaving?" Noah asked Barba with a frown.</p>
      <p>Barba looked a little concerned, leaned to press his lips to Noah's forehead and then shook his head, "I'm yours all day, I promise." He waited for Noah to smile and then nodded and stepped away to answer his call.</p>
      <p>"Uncle Rafa is a law-yer, he locks up bad people," Noah explained to Lucy.</p>
      <p>She nodded, "He works with your mommy."</p>
      <p>"Yup!" Noah smiled. "They are friends…" He glanced back at Barba and then looked at Lucy. "How do you know if someone is a special best friend?"</p>
      <p>"I think your Uncle Rafa is definitely your special friend, Noah, I can tell that he loves you very much," Lucy assured as she took his hand and they walked back over to the bench.</p>
      <p>"No…" Noah frowned a little, he wasn't making himself clear, "…I mean, grown-up special best friends, when they live together and have every night sleepovers. Uncle Sonny told me that those kinds of special best friends are in love?"</p>
      <p>Lucy was a little surprised by this line of questioning, it was very new. "You want to understand more about grown-ups and love?" She asked.</p>
      <p>Noah nodded, "How do you know if grown-ups are in love?"</p>
      <p>She glanced up at Barba, he was stood nearby and smiled at Lucy apologetically. He held up one finger silently telling her that he wouldn't be long. "Noah, is this about your Uncle Rafa?"</p>
      <p>The little boy nodded and climbed up on the bench so that he was kneeling next to her, "I would really, really like to keep him…" he explained and Lucy couldn't help but smile in amusement at his wording. "I know that I would see him all the time if Uncle Rafa slept in the bedroom next to mine every night."</p>
      <p>Lucy glanced up at Barba and then back at the little boy, "You know it's not that simple, Noah?"</p>
      <p>Noah nodded, "I know that older grownups who live together are usually in love…" he explained, "…that seems like a really good idea, I think Mommy would like that and Uncle Rafa is very nice."</p>
      <p>Lucy's smile broadened and she nodded. "He is certainly a very nice man," she confirmed and briefly reflected on how horrified Olivia would be if she heard this conversation.</p>
      <p>"He's great!" Noah assured excitedly. "He's great at Lego, he tells really good bedtime stories, he doesn't even always need a book!" He told her as though this was magic. "He is very silly and tells good jokes…" He paused for a moment and thought about his research. "He looks after mommy when she is sad, always asks how she is and what sort of day she has had…and Mommy smiles funny when she looks at him…"</p>
      <p>"Are you telling me that you would like your Uncle Rafa to be your daddy?" Lucy asked cautiously.</p>
      <p>"Oh, yes!" Noah grinned. "Can he do that?"</p>
      <p>Lucy was suddenly concerned that she had introduced this idea, Noah was clearly very invested in this relationship and she didn't want him to get carried away and get hurt.</p>
      <p>"Lucy, how do grown-ups know when they are in love?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>She was pleased to be back on slightly more comfortable ground. "You know what, Noah? I think you can tell a lot by the way people look at each other. Like…" she thought and then smiled, "…like how you look at your favorite kind of ice cream…like the other person is precious to them, like just looking at them makes them happy."</p>
      <p>Noah thought and nodded slowly, "Mommy looks at Uncle Rafa with special eyes. She smiles…Uncle Rafa too… They look at each other for a long time," he paused, ", like they just enjoy looking, they don't even talk…like they are having a staring contest…only no one is trying to win."</p>
      <p>Lucy's smiled spread and her concern started to wane a little, this sounded very interesting. She looked up at Barba, who was just finishing his call.</p>
      <p>"Maybe you should talk to Mommy about this?" Lucy suggested.</p>
      <p>Noah nodded, "You think that maybe Mommy doesn't realise that she could keep Uncle Rafa if she wanted to?"</p>
      <p>Lucy laughed, "I think that talking to Mommy about something like this is always a good idea and if you feel comfortable maybe you could even chat to your Uncle Rafa?"</p>
      <p>Noah nodded enthusiastically, "I always like to talk to Uncle Rafa, he has very good ideas."</p>
      <p>"What are we talking about?" Barba asked as he walked around to sit next to Noah and mouthed a thank you to Lucy.</p>
      <p>"Noah has <em>lots</em> of interesting questions today," Lucy grinned at the lawyer.</p>
      <p>Barba smiled as Noah clambered over him to get his drink from his bag. "I'm very good at questions, Noah," he assured, "…I do questions at work every day."</p>
      <p>"Excellent," Lucy smiled and stood, wondering if the lawyer had any idea what he was letting himself in for. "I'll see you on Monday, Noah…and I hope…well…good luck."</p>
      <p>Noah nodded, "Bye-bye, Lucy! Thank you for your help!"</p>
      <p>"Good luck, Rafael," Lucy called back with humor in her voice as she walked away.</p>
      <p>Barba looked confused and smiled at Noah, "Good luck?"</p>
      <p>"Uncle Rafa, how do grown-ups know when they are in love?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>"Grown-ups?" Barba checked, suddenly feeling a little like he was walking on quicksand.</p>
      <p>Noah decided to get to the point, "I've been thinking…Mommy said that special best friends live together and share a bedroom. Uncle Sonny said that those kinds of special best friends are in love, he said that they look after each other. My teacher said that when grown-ups are in love they are interested in each other and ask about their day. Lucy just said that grown-ups in love look at each other like they are very very special…like really good ice cream."</p>
      <p>Barba nodded along.</p>
      <p>"How do you think grown-ups know when they are in love?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>Barba thought of Olivia, so many feelings and thoughts were whirling around his head. Then he finally smiled at Noah. "You know, I think it's when that person, and the people they love, mean more than anything else in the whole world. When there is nothing that you would not do for them, nothing that you wouldn't do to keep them safe, to make them happy, to have them near…they are your whole world."</p>
      <p>"They?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>"The person, or people, that you love…" Barba clarified.</p>
      <p>"More than one?" Noah frowned. He didn't want to share Uncle Rafa with someone else.</p>
      <p>"Like…" Barba paused thoughtfully, "…someone who loved your Mommy would also love you," he tried to explain, "…it's a very different kind of love, but it's just as strong as the love they feel for your mommy."</p>
      <p>"So someone who became my mommy's special best friend would love her more than anything else…and love me more than anything as well?" Noah checked as he reached for his bag and pulled out his notebook and crayon.</p>
      <p>"Definitely," Barba assured, "….you're a set. What's that you have?"</p>
      <p>"My research…" Noah explained and Barba smiled in bemusement as his young friend started to write, his tongue sticking out a little as he leaned the book on Barba's thigh and carefully wrote out two lines. "How do you spell 'world'?" He asked after about a minute.</p>
      <p>Barba helped him and then watched as he repacked his bag. "Is everything okay, Noah?" He checked.</p>
      <p>Noah smiled at him happily and nodded, "The best! Are we going to the lake now?"</p>
      <p>Barba stood and then held out his hand as Noah leapt down off the bench. "Okay, amigo, let's go…"</p>
      <p> </p>
      <p>
        <em>TBC...</em>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Parklife</h2></a>
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      <p>Noah stood next to Barba in the queue and then smiled up as the man behind the cart handed over a huge cinnamon pretzel. They walked over to a patch of grass near to the water and sat down, then he watched as his Uncle Rafa ripped the treat and held out half for him.</p>
      <p>After taking a huge bite Noah smiled up at Barba and spoke with his mouth full. "Does this mean we can share ice cream as well?" He asked with a cheeky grin.</p>
      <p>Barba chuckled softly, "Mommy is making us dinner, don't you think it would be nice if we didn't fill ourselves up with food before we go home?" He paused briefly and then added, "…And don't talk with your mouth full, amigo."</p>
      <p>Noah tilted his head and smiled as he chewed, then shrugged and swallowed. "Sure, Uncle Rafa, I guess so. So can I have ice cream after I've eaten all of my dinner?"</p>
      <p>"You'll have to ask your mami," Barba pointed out genially.</p>
      <p>They ate companionably for a few minutes, chatting about their afternoon, then Noah looked at Barba a little more seriously. "Uncle Rafa, do you like ice cream?" He asked.</p>
      <p>Barba nodded, "Sure I do, Noah. When I was a kid mantecado was my favorite. I haven't had it in years though…it tasted like heaven."</p>
      <p>Noah watch his Uncle Rafa smile and smiled as well, "What is man-tay-go?"</p>
      <p>"Man-te-ca-do," Barba corrected softly.</p>
      <p>Noah thought for a second and then repeated, "Man-te-ca-do?"</p>
      <p>Barba smiled proudly, "Very good, Noah!"</p>
      <p>Noah felt his heart swell with pride and he grinned broadly.</p>
      <p>"It's a little like vanilla," Barba explained, "…only with a little nutmeg and cinnamon."</p>
      <p>Noah licked his fingers enthusiastically, "I <em>really</em> like cinnamon."</p>
      <p>Barba chuckled softly, "It seems that you do…"</p>
      <p>"So…you <em>love</em> ice cream?" The little boy checked as he moved a closer, there was a slight wind and it felt a little cooler in the open air near to the water.</p>
      <p>"I do," Barba confirmed. "Are you cold?"</p>
      <p>"I'm okay…" Noah assured. "Do you love my mommy as much as you love ice cream?" He asked quietly, his eyes averted to the grass.</p>
      <p>Barba looked as surprised as he felt by the question and he wondered how honest he should be. After several moments, he quietly replied, "Of course…"</p>
      <p>"More?" Noah added.</p>
      <p>"M-much much more," Barba assured unsurely. He didn't feel like he could lie to the little boy, but it didn't feel right to overshare the depths of his true feelings. "Your mommy is one of the most important friends I've ever had," he added.</p>
      <p>Noah frowned a little now but nodded slowly, "She's special?"</p>
      <p>He nodded, "Very special."</p>
      <p>His frown turned into a smile, "You're still staying with us for dinner?"</p>
      <p>"You know I am," Barba confirmed reassuringly.</p>
      <p>Noah looked sad and distracted. "I thought maybe you needed to go somewhere else? You were on a call and…"</p>
      <p>Barba could tell the call had bothered Noah and now he was concerned, "Noah, did you think I was going to leave?"</p>
      <p>"I know that you are very important and…"</p>
      <p>Barba couldn't resist cutting in again, "Noah, just like your mommy, my work is very important. Sometimes people will be in trouble and I might need to leave so that I can help them…but you will always be my priority. Do you know what that means?"</p>
      <p>Noah shook his head slowly.</p>
      <p>"That means that you are the most important thing, more important than anything else," Barba explained.</p>
      <p>Noah processed for a second and then slowly asked, "Anything else in the whole world?"</p>
      <p>"Absolutely," he assured without even recalling their earlier conversation.</p>
      <p>Noah smiled broadly and nodded, then Barba watched as he dug through his bag, pulled out his notebook and crayon, then checked off something he had written down.</p>
      <p>"What is that, Noah?" Barba asked and tried to look.</p>
      <p>"Secret…" Noah smiled teasingly and slipped the book away.</p>
      <p>Barba smiled in bemusement and dropped it - he didn't want to force a confidence onto Noah, he just hoped that he would share it with him soon.</p>
      <hr/>
      <p>When Noah arrived home with Barba a couple of hours later he was very tired. They had investigated what he felt sure must have been <em>all</em> of the park, walked around the lake, played on the playground, had food, been to visit the penguins, shared a cinnamon pretzel and raspberry lemonade, then walked all the way back to the road so that they could catch a cab home.</p>
      <p>It was the best day ever.</p>
      <p>The only thing that could have made it even more perfect would have been if mommy had been there with them, but he had loved spending so much time with his Uncle Rafa and he had learned so much. Like the fact that grownups look at each other like toffee ice cream when they are in love…and that Uncle Rafa thought that he was the most important person in the world.</p>
      <p>Uncle Rafa had also told him that he and mommy were a set, so it made sense that his mommy must be the most important person in his world as well.</p>
      <p>Now he just needed to understand a little more about how his mommy feels. They rode up in the elevator and Noah looked up at Uncle Rafa. Noah knew that his mommy was very clever, so it seemed very unlikely that his mommy would not love his Uncle Rafa very much.</p>
      <p>Noah rushed forward and knocked on the door, then was surprised when a moment later his Uncle Fin answered.</p>
      <p>"Uncle Fin!" Noah smiled. "You came to visit?"</p>
      <p>"I came to do a little work with ya mom," Fin explained as he nodded at Barba and then they all walked through to the living area.</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled from the kitchen and Barba automatically drifted in her direction.</p>
      <p>"Did you boys have a nice day?" She asked as Noah clamoured onto the couch next to Finn.</p>
      <p>"The best!" Noah replied excitedly. "We even saw Lucy!"</p>
      <p>"Oh, yes! She has softball practice in the park on Saturday mornings doesn't she?" Olivia remembered.</p>
      <p>"She had time to hang out with Noah for a few minutes while I took a call, which was really appreciated," Barba explained as he walked to stand next to Olivia and lean back on the counter.</p>
      <p>Fin couldn't help but notice how quickly the ADA had been drawn toward Olivia, and how close they were now standing.</p>
      <p>"Are you stayin' for dinner, Uncle Fin?" Noah asked as he settled onto the couch and glanced over all of the papers that the detective was in the process of tidying away.</p>
      <p>"I need to get off, kid," Fin excused himself with a smile, "…I'll leave you guys to it."</p>
      <p>"Uncle Rafa is staying for dinner," Noah said beaming happily, "…we've spent all day together! We even saw the penguins. I love penguins. Uncle Rafa said that he has a suit that makes him look like a penguin."</p>
      <p>Fin smirked, "He does. I've seen it."</p>
      <p>Noah laughed, "You're funny, Uncle Fin."</p>
      <p>"You 'ad a good day then?" Fin asked glancing over to see that Barba and Olivia were lost in conversation.</p>
      <p>"Yeah! I love hanging out with Uncle Rafa and he said that we're going to get to hang out even more from now on…" Noah paused and then looked at his Uncle Finn thoughtfully. "Uncle Fin, you know a lot about a lot of things, don't you?"</p>
      <p>The corner of Fin's mouth turned up in a half-smile, "I know a lot about some things…" he clarified, "…but shoot. Whaddaya wanna know?"</p>
      <p>"How do you know if grownups are in love? The type of in love that leads to forever sleepovers," Noah clarified.</p>
      <p>Fin chuckled, "I've never heard it called that before."</p>
      <p>Noah smiled but then pushed on, "Do you know?"</p>
      <p>Fin thought for a second and then let out a long breath, "Y'know I think a lot is down to respect. You know what that means?"</p>
      <p>"When I do what mommy tells me?" Noah asked, a little confused.</p>
      <p>Fin smiled and shrugged, "Not exactly, if you're doing something for ya momma it should be out of respect, because you love her and you respect her, you want to make her happy….you're not just doin' as you're told to avoid gettin' into trouble. Understand?"</p>
      <p>Noah nodded slowly, he understood that…sort of…but couldn't see the connection.</p>
      <p>Fin could see that Noah was confused and tried to explain. "I think grown-up love is based on respect and friendship. People in love should admire each other, their abilities, their achievements...what they do, who they are. That's a two-way street though, kid, being with the other person should make them both feel good about who they are."</p>
      <p>Noah nodded slowly, still a little unsure but starting to catch on.</p>
      <p>Fin looked over at Olivia and Barba, who were still chatting in the kitchen. Barba said something and Olivia laughed happily and leaned in toward him.</p>
      <p>"Like…your Uncle Rafa and your momma…" Fin nodded over at them, "…they're friends, your momma respects your Uncle Rafa, what he does, who he is. If she has a problem your Uncle Rafa's your momma's first stop. Her first soundin' board."</p>
      <p>"Sounding board?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>"To share her thoughts, bounce ideas off, get feedback, advice or suggestions…" Fin explained. "It's the same for your Uncle Rafa, I sometimes feel like your momma is the only person who really connects with him on a deeper level."</p>
      <p>Noah frowned a little, "I <em>connect</em> with Uncle Rafa."</p>
      <p>Fin chuckled softly, "Of course you can kid, I meant grownups."</p>
      <p>"So, Mommy and Uncle Rafa are…?" Noah started.</p>
      <p>Fin realised that he could have walked Noah down the wrong road following his original question and quickly tried to roll back. "Good friends," he clarified, "…but a lot of the things we look for in a close friend is a good startin' place for love…with an extra special and unexplainable…somethin'."</p>
      <p>"Something?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>"Somethin'," Fin nodded, "…somethin' indescribable…chemistry...electricity..." he smiled at Noah, "...a <em>special</em> connection."</p>
      <p>"Chemistry?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>"Respect and chemistry," Fin nodded and glanced back at Barba and Olivia, silently acknowledging that they had plenty of both. Hell, they had enough electricity currently sparking off them that he suspected they could power the whole building.</p>
      <p>"Uncle Fin," Noah said quietly playing with the zipper on his jacket. "I really really want my Uncle Rafa to love my mommy, and for my mommy to love my Uncle Rafa…" he sighed and looked up at his honorary uncle, "…I've been doing lots of research but I'm very tired."</p>
      <p>"Research?" Fin asked with intrigue and a little concern.</p>
      <p>"Uncle Sonny said that when grownups live together and share a bedroom they are in love, that they look after each other. My teacher said that…" he thought and closed his eyes, trying to remember, "…that people in love asked about each others day. Lucy said the grownups in love look at each other like toffee ice cream, then Uncle Rafa told me that whoever loved my mommy would think that she was the most special person in the world, and love me that much too…"</p>
      <p>Fin frowned a little as Noah worked through his research, he was clearly highly invested in this.</p>
      <p>"I want that, Uncle Fin. I want Uncle Rafa to love me and my mommy more than anything else in the world. So I want him to look at mommy like she's ice cream, and ask about her day, a-and look after her…and have forever sleepovers, and never go home…" Noah's eyes were welled with tears now, he was tired after his long day and becoming a little overwrought. "I want today to last forever, but with vacations, and Christmas, and trips to the store, and everything else in between."</p>
      <p>"Noah…" Fin spoke calmly and slowly.</p>
      <p>"I want Uncle Rafa to be my daddy!" Noah finished tearfully.</p>
      <p>Silence filled the room and slowly both Fin and Noah turned to see Barba and Olivia looking at them with matching expressions of shock.</p>
      <p> </p>
      <p>
        <em>TBC…</em>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Lightning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope everyone enjoyed Tartuffe! ♡</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Silence.</p><p>The silence was nearly deafening.</p><p>Then after what seemed like several long minutes, Olivia cleared her thoughts.</p><p>"Noah…?" She started and then trailed off.</p><p>"I should leave…" Fin started to pick up his things.</p><p>"Maybe I should too…" Barba chimed in.</p><p>"You stay right where you are!" Olivia snapped sharply and both men froze on the spot.</p><p>Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head as though trying to clear it. "Fin, yes if you could give us a little space I would be very grateful. Rafa, you're not going anywhere…" she paused and shook her head again, "…I mean, you can leave if you need to, but I'd really<em> like</em> you to stay."</p><p>Fin nodded and collected his things.</p><p>"Thanks, Fin," Olivia said distractedly and her sergeant nodded, "…see you Monday."</p><p>Fin turned quickly and walked for the door, wondering what he was leaving in his wake.</p><p>Olivia glanced over at Noah who looked shocked and unsettled. "Sweetheart, I think we need to have a little chat…" she suggested softly.</p><p>"I can leave," Barba started to offer again, "…give you both some space?"</p><p>Olivia looked at him with an expression which seemed somewhere between desperation and amusement. "Rafa, if you keep trying to avoid my cooking I'll start to take it personally…" She sighed with exasperation, "I'm asking you to stay…<em>please?</em>"</p><p>"Liv…" Barba started and then glanced to Noah, who looked even more tearful.</p><p>"Uncle Rafa, are you angry with me?" He asked weakly.</p><p>Barba rushed into action, walking quickly over to the little boy and lifting him up into his arms. He held on tight and rocked him a little. "No, no, no, chico, no…of course I'm not angry with you. I just thought that maybe you and your mommy needed to talk and I wasn't sure that it was my place to… I thought I should leave you both alone to…" He looked over at Olivia with a pained expression and she nodded understandingly.</p><p>"Okay, can I make a suggestion?" Olivia asked gently.</p><p>Noah turned to look at his mommy but remained comfortably in his Uncle Rafa's arms.</p><p>"Me and Noah will go and get him ready for bed, then we can have a little chat. Uncle Rafa can keep an eye on our dinner for a while. Okay?" Olivia suggested.</p><p>They both nodded obediently.</p><p>"Noah, you go and start getting ready for bed. I'll be in in a minute," Olivia directed softly.</p><p>Noah walked toward his room, but he still looked tearful.</p><p>"You're not in trouble, sweetheart, I think we just need a chat," she assured.</p><p>Noah smiled a little and then left.</p><p>"Rafa…" Olivia started, walking quickly toward Barba. "I don't want you to freak out here. I know this isn't…you're not…" she grimaced a little, "…but Noah obviously cares a lot for you and I don't want him to feel like he said that and then you just left. That would break his heart. I can't…" she took a deep breath trying to control her tears, "…I'm sorry, maybe this was my fault, maybe I pushed too hard to…"</p><p>Her words stopped when his palm came up to her cheek. "Please," he asked gently, "…God, please don't cry."</p><p>Olivia looked up and met his unwavering gaze. "Rafa…" she replied, "…I'm sorry, this has become far more complicated than I expected."</p><p>"God, please don't apologise to me…this is not…" he looked to the ceiling and then met her gaze again, his warm hand now resting on her neck.</p><p>"Just let me talk to him a little, manage his expectations. Then we can all talk?" Olivia suggested.</p><p>"Whatever <em>you</em> feel is best," Barba assured.</p><p>"I know that you didn't sign up for this," Olivia sighed.</p><p>"Anything you need, 'Livia, I swear. I don't want either of you to be upset. He asked me some questions earlier," he cursed himself silently, "…I should have picked up on it, noticed that something was amiss."</p><p>"Don't question yourself over this, Rafa. You couldn't possibly have known. He's spent a lot of time with you lately, grown more attached than even I had realised. I can't fault him for that. We'll talk to him, the last thing I want is for this to damage your relationship," Olivia assured.</p><p>"And the last thing in the world I want to do is hurt him, to hurt either one of you," Barba assured and brought a hand up to trace a couple of tears from her cheek with his thumb.</p><p>Their eyes clashed and Olivia licked her lips. She smiled a little sheepishly, "Is this teaching you a lesson about getting too involved with single mothers?"</p><p>Barba chuckled, his eyes crinkling a little at the sides as he smiled at her genuinely, "It's certainly a trip."</p><p>"I'll talk to him, try to explain that you aren't…that you're not…" Olivia stepped away and tried to brush off the moment, the last thing she needed right now was to get sucked into the same fantasies as her son.</p><p>"I'm not…?" Barba asked wondering what she was going to say.</p><p>"God, I don't know!" Olivia laughed with exasperation. "Can you keep an eye on dinner? We won't be long."</p><p>Barba nodded and then watched her go, wondering what Olivia imagined she was going to try to explain.</p><hr/><p>"Noah?" Olivia asked softly as she walked into his bedroom and found him already getting changed.</p><p>"Is Uncle Rafa going to leave?" He asked despondently.</p><p>"No," Olivia assured, "…he's worried about you, so I promise he won't leave until he knows that you're okay."</p><p>Noah frowned a little and then nodded sadly, "I messed up, didn't I?"</p><p>"I need you to talk to me and explain what is worrying you right now," Olivia perched on his bed and nodded for him to sit with her. She watched as he went to get a book out of his bag and then walked to join her on the bed. "So?" She asked gently.</p><p>"I…," he thought and then tried to explain, "I really like spending time with Uncle Rafa. I realised that if Uncle Rafa lived with us I could see him all the time. When I asked you about grownups living together you said that usually they are special friends and they share a bedroom. I thought that sounded really good, having Uncle Rafa here, living with us…sharing a bedroom with you…I would see him all the time."</p><p>Olivia winced, "Noah, sweetheart, you understand that it's not that easy?"</p><p>Noah nodded, "I worked really hard to find out…" He opened his book and she looked at the words scrawled in his handwriting.</p><p>"<em>Uncle Sonny - love and look afta</em>?" She smiled at the first line, noticing that he had spelt after a-f-t-a, but then she decided that spelling corrections could wait until another time.</p><p>"Uncle Sonny explained that grown-ups who live together and have forever sleepovers are usually<em> in love</em> and very happy." Noah smiled at her broadly, "I think you would like that."</p><p>Olivia fought to control the tears that she could already feel welling in her eyes.</p><p>"They look after each other, I think that would be nice too…" Noah pointed out as they looked at his book.</p><p>"That does sound very nice," Olivia agreed quietly. "So, what's this? <em>Miss - ask about day.</em>"</p><p>"I asked my teacher about how you can tell when people are in love. She said that grownups ask each other about their day, they want to know what they've been doing, if they are happy or sad, or maybe tired," Noah explained.</p><p>"That has a checkmark?" Olivia pointed out.</p><p>"You do that," Noah nodded, "…Uncle Rafa always asks how you are, what your day was like, you always worry about if he is sad, or tired, or if his work was hard."</p><p>Olivia thought back and shrugged, she guessed that was true. She looked back at the book and moved on to the next line. "<em>Lucy - like ice cream</em>?" She chuckled a little now.</p><p>Noah smiled, "Lucy said that grown-ups <em>in love</em> look at each other like ice cream...like they are very <em>very</em> special."</p><p>"This one has a big question mark?" She pointed at the page.</p><p>"I think you and Uncle Rafa look at each other a lot. You stand very close and have staring contests with no winners or losers, but you both look a little sad…not really like you're looking at ice cream." Noah paused, reconsidered and then added, "Maybe more like ice cream you're not allowed to eat…?"</p><p>Olivia felt her breath catch and she swallowed hard. She needed to distract herself from the glimmer of hope in her heart at her son's innocent observations. Then looking down at the last line her heart began to ache. "<em>Uncle Rafa - love most in the world, mommy and me</em>?"</p><p>"Uncle Rafa said that someone who loved you would think that you were the most special person in the world…and that as we are a set they would love me just as much…only diff-er-ently," Noah reflected thoughtfully.</p><p>Olivia looked across the page, saw a checkmark and felt her heart speed up. "Noah…what's this?" She pointed at the mark.</p><p>"Uncle Rafa told me this afternoon that I was his…" he thought back to the word, "pri-ority. His most important person in the world." Noah smiled brightly. "He had already told me that we are a set, so I guessed that must mean that you are his pri-ority too - his most special person."</p><p>Olivia looked at the words on the page and tried to process.</p><p>"I think," Noah started slowly, "…no, Mommy, I'm almost sure that Uncle Rafa loves you, he said so. So if you love him we could keep him. We could keep him forever. Just the three of us. Would you like that, Mommy? I wouldn't ask for anything else, nothing for my birthday, nothing for Christmas. Just this." Noah was getting excited again now and jumped up onto his knees next to Olivia. "And you would have a special friend who would have sleepovers with you forever, and would love you, and look after you, and ask about your day, and eat ice cream when you're happy, and give you big hugs when you're sad…" he paused, "…Mommy, you're sad now?"</p><p>Olivia realised that she was crying and quickly swiped tears from her eyes. "I'm okay, Noah. I'm sorry…I just…I don't…"</p><p>Noah's face dropped, "You <em>don't</em> love Uncle Rafa?"</p><p>"It's not that simple, sweetheart," Olivia tried to explain.</p><p>Noah held his notebook up to her, "But I did <em>all</em> of the research, Mommy!"</p><p>"Noah, I can't just…" Olivia's mind was spinning.</p><p>"Is it the lightning?" Noah asked.</p><p>"Lightning?" Olivia smiled in bewilderment in spite of her swirling thoughts.</p><p>"Uncle Fin said…chemistry…maybe science class…something special…?" Noah tried to explain but he still didn't completely understand and tears started to well in his eyes again.</p><p>"Noah, please don't get upset…" Olivia took a deep breath. "I tell you what, how about we leave this for now? We can go out and have dinner, then after you go to bed Uncle Rafa and I will have a long grownup talk about how best to explain all of this to you? I think I need a moment to think? Is that okay?"</p><p>"Even grownups get confused and need time to think?" Noah asked.</p><p>"I think <em>especially</em> grownups," Olivia smiled affectionately.</p><p>"So you need to talk it through with Uncle Rafa?" Noah clarified, thinking back to what Uncle Fin had said about boards.</p><p>"I think I do," Olivia nodded, "…because these are some really big ideas and questions, so I want to make sure that I have really good answers for all of them."</p><p>Noah nodded, "Okay…"</p><p>"You and I can talk for as long at you want tomorrow morning," Olivia assured, "I'm all yours."</p><p>Noah smiled contently, "Okay, Mommy."</p><hr/><p>After a few minutes, they walked back out and Barba was stood in the kitchen looking at them both nervously. Noah looked more settled than before, but Olivia looked…unnervingly overwhelmed.</p><p>She held a book up to Noah, "Can I show this to Uncle Rafa? When we have our grownup chat later?"</p><p>"Sure, Mommy," Noah agreed easily and walked into the living area.</p><p>Olivia walked over to Barba and put the book down on the counter nearby. "I've said that we'll put all of this to one side while we have dinner, then I'll talk to him again tomorrow," she explained quietly and succinctly. "Can you stay after I put him to bed? I really need to talk this through with you."</p><p>"Of course," he assured, "…is he okay?"</p><p>Olivia smiled a little shakily, "He's…okay…good, I think…" she looked him in the eyes, "…we really need to talk, Rafa."</p><p>Barba nodded with an uncertain but genuine smile, "Absolutely."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>TBC…</em>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. It's Complicated</h2></a>
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      <p>Barba heard the sound of Noah's door slip closed and dropped his phone down nearby before reaching for one of two glasses of wine on the coffee table in front of him.</p>
      <p>"I thought we could both use a drink," he said with a wry smile as he turned toward her, then Barba quickly fumbled to put the glass back down and stand when he saw tears in Olivia's eyes. "Liv? I…" He stepped toward her and automatically reached out to touch her hair before wincing and stiffly lowering his arm. He had already been reprimanding himself for being too familiar when she had been upset earlier - it had been an instinctive response to seeing her pain. A familiar need to reach out to her that he usually managed to control. He wondered whether his day with Noah combined with the domestic setting had lowered his guard?</p>
      <p>Olivia watched his hand hover and then drop ungracefully. She let out a breath, half in frustration and half in amusement at their apparent mutual reluctance to reach out to each other for comfort, or offer it when needed. Someone was going to have to break this holding pattern that they had slipped into. She stepped forward abruptly and wrapped her arms around his waist, her face burrowing into his shoulder as she sobbed and gripped him so tightly that he took a small step back.</p>
      <p>Barba took a few seconds to adjust to the shock, then he recalculated his actions and wrapped his arms around her in a tight and all-encompassing embrace. "Liv…" he whispered softly near her ear as one of his hands instinctively moved up to comb into her hair and then rest on the back of her head.</p>
      <p>Feeling the warmth and security of her friend's arms felt simultaneously revelatory and completely familiar. Like Olivia had finally found a level of peace that she didn't even realise she had been looking for.</p>
      <p>After several moments she finally gave in to temptation and breathed in his familiar scent.</p>
      <p>"Liv," he repeated softly, not even attempting to move out of her embrace. Barba hated that she appeared so upset, but could happily stay right here for the rest of his life.</p>
      <p>He did not let many people in, but he craved physical intimacy and had found himself having to control an escalating urge to reach out to Olivia over the years. To touch her hand, her shoulder, to comfort her when she was upset…to simply give in to the desire to hold her, and his desire to hold her was now as familiar as breathing.</p>
      <p>Olivia held him tightly, trying to figure out if she could retain her self-respect and move them over to the couch without leaving his arms. It was absurd, but she suddenly felt scared to lose this connection. She had taken a huge step, but feared that as soon as she moved away she did not know how long it would be until one of them broke through their carefully constructed barriers again.</p>
      <p>She breathed in slowly.</p>
      <p>"Liv, what can I do?" Barba asked so quietly that she might not have heard him if his mouth wasn't a breath away from her ear.</p>
      <p>"I can't bear to see my sweet boy hurting, Rafa. It's even more painful when I don't know how to fix it," she ran one of her hands up and her fingernails scratched into the hair on the back of his neck with alarming intimacy.</p>
      <p>Barba had to control a shudder and he closed his eyes.</p>
      <p>"I need to talk to you about something," she sighed reluctantly and pulled back, almost having to force herself away from his intoxicating heat.</p>
      <p>They both felt instantly cold and desperate to reconnect.</p>
      <p>Barba watched as she walked quickly into the kitchen, picked up Noah's notebook and then returned. He hadn't moved during her brief absence so Olivia nodded at the couch as she walked around and that spurred him into action.</p>
      <p>They sat - now with a small but seemingly cavernous gap between them.</p>
      <p>Olivia shivered and then smiled at him awkwardly.</p>
      <p>"It's…freezing," she excused, still looking a little flushed, and then reached to pull a blanket down off the back of the couch. She threw it over her lap and then, in a move that she would later swear was completely spontaneous, edged closer to him and lay half the blanket over her friend. "I wouldn't want you to catch a chill," she smiled and licked her lips, "…I know how you hate the cold."</p>
      <p>He returned her smile genuinely, feeling her knee brush against his lightly. "That'll be my Latino blood," he joked in a tone that sounded surprisingly casual considering how fast his heart was beating.</p>
      <p>"You need someone to keep you warm on these cold New York nights," she joked and then realising what she had said laughed awkwardly. "I mean, maybe you do, I don't know what you do every night…when you aren't with us."</p>
      <p>He smiled with gentle amusement, "I'd like to think you know that I'm not out picking up random people in bars…and if I was seeing someone you know that you, of all people, would know about it."</p>
      <p>"Do I?" Olivia asked weakly, distractedly thinking that they had already drifted off point. Or had they?</p>
      <p>Barba smiled in amusement, "Of course you do…nobody knows me better than you."</p>
      <p>She held his gaze, "You really think so?"</p>
      <p>He frowned a little now, "You…<em>don't?"</em> Surely he couldn't be so deluded that their connection was entirely in his head?</p>
      <p>Olivia thoughtfully licked her bottom lip. "Sometimes it feels like we're as close as two people can be…" she began quietly, "…and then there are moments when it feels like we're miles apart."</p>
      <p>Barba tilted his head but said nothing.</p>
      <p>Olivia took a deep breath, she knew that she needed to pull herself together before she said too much, but her conversation with Noah had left her reeling. What do you say when your young son presents you with a breakdown of everything you had long desired but never allowed yourself to hope for?</p>
      <p>"I should show you the book," she suggested suddenly and lifted it from under the blanket. She edged an inch closer and turned a little so that he could see the pages.</p>
      <p>"Noah was writing in this earlier," Barba observed as he tried to stop his head from spinning and concentrate on the matter at hand. <em>Her hair smells amazing,</em> he thought, then closed his eyes and forced himself to focus.</p>
      <p>"He told me that he's been doing research…" Olivia started.</p>
      <p>"He certainly had a few questions for Lucy and me..." Barba smiled.</p>
      <p>"And Sonny…and his teacher at school…" Olivia explained and then pointed at the page.</p>
      <p>He skimmed the words and frowned, "I don't understand what any of this means…?"</p>
      <p>"Noah seems to have got it into his head that he would get to see you more if you…" she paused and breathed in, "…if you shared a bedroom with me…every night."</p>
      <p>Barba's eyes widened, he swallowed hard and then tried to remember how to form sentences. "Sorry…<em>what?"</em> He finally attempted.</p>
      <p>Olivia laughed a little breathlessly, "Remember at the beginning of the week when he was asking about grownups sharing rooms?"</p>
      <p>He nodded.</p>
      <p>"That appears to have been the start," she tried to explain, "…it seems that he got it into his head that grownups can live together if they are 'special friends' and share a bedroom."</p>
      <p>Barba looked pained and ran a hand over his face.</p>
      <p>"It gets better," she smiled at him understandingly, "…he learned from his Uncle Sonny that those grownups are usually in love…so he went about doing some 'research'."</p>
      <p>The words on the page started to slip into place.</p>
      <p>"I'm sorry, Rafa, but he's somehow managed to convince himself that you are in love with me…and that he can get everything he wants if you just move in here and…"</p>
      <p>"Become his daddy…" Barba breathed out and closed his eyes.</p>
      <p>"I know that I need to talk to him about this, Rafa. But I need to talk to you about <em>how</em> I'm going to do that," she started to work through the situation methodically now. "I don't want whatever I tell him to impact your friendship, he seems to have got this whole thing interlinked. You love him, so you must love me as well…it seems so logical to a little boy Noah's age and it's hard to explain the endless intricate factors that impact adult relationships."</p>
      <p>"We are very complicated…" Barba observed with a smile.</p>
      <p>Olivia laughed softly, that almost sounded like something Noah would say.</p>
      <p>He scanned the page again, "What's the ice cream thing?"</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled, "I believe Lucy told him that grownups in love look at each other like ice cream."</p>
      <p>Barba thought back to his afternoon with Noah. "He asked me about ice cream…" he remembered, "…why the question mark?"</p>
      <p>"He said…" she smiled sadly now, "…that we do look at each other, like a staring contest with no winners…"</p>
      <p>Barba's mouth fell open a little and he held her gaze.</p>
      <p>"But…" Olivia's eyes flitted to his lips and then back up again, "…but that we looked sad, like we were…"</p>
      <p>When she trailed off Barba instinctively brought his arm up to rest along the back of the couch and lay his hand on her shoulder. "Like what?" He asked encouragingly.</p>
      <p>She shifted a little closer to him, "Like ice cream, ice cream that we aren't allowed to eat…"</p>
      <p>Barba's eyes moved to <em>his</em> line in the notebook. How could you truly love someone more than anything else in the world but not be brave enough to risk your own heart? He knew he would give his life for either of them without a moments thought.</p>
      <p>"I guess we could all work on being a little braver, like Noah…" he observed.</p>
      <p>Olivia frowned a little, not entirely following him.</p>
      <p>"I do love your son, Olivia, very much…" Barba continued slowly.</p>
      <p>She smiled now, "I know that, Rafa, and I promise that I won't let this impact your relationship. I'll talk to him tomorrow, try to explain the difference between best friends and special friends. Try to…"</p>
      <p>"I hope that you won't allow <em>this</em> to affect my relationship with Noah either. Or my friendship with you…" he continued, "I…" he paused, losing his nerve a little.</p>
      <p>"You <em>what?</em> Rafa, is everything okay?" Olivia prompted.</p>
      <p>"You can want so much from someone, Livia, and not need it…" he frowned, "…or maybe not demand it…" he clarified and then sighed in frustration.</p>
      <p>"Rafa, what are you trying to say?" Olivia asked.</p>
      <p>"I'm just saying that if someone wants more, more than the other person is willing to give, it doesn't have to impact their relationship in the long term…that person can learn to adjust…to accept what they have. To be grateful for what they have…" Barba closed his eyes, he wasn't saying this properly.</p>
      <p>"Noah is young, he'll adjust and as he gets older he'll understand…" She started again.</p>
      <p>"I'm not talking about Noah, Liv!" His frustration with himself had caused Barba to snap at her a little and he winced. "I'm sorry, I'm not…I feel like…" Barba looked into her confused eyes and tried again, "I'm trying to tell you that Noah is right, I can't lie to him about that. My father had a highly honed skill for gas-lighting my mother. If he's picked up on my feelings for you that is my fault, not his, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry if this has caused pain or confusion, to you or Noah. We can deal with this however you want, explain to him together, or I can leave you to talk to him alone. If you need me to give you both some space then I can do that, of course, I can, but can I ask you one thing? Please don't cut me out completely. I need…I need to just…"</p>
      <p>The whole time Barba had been talking Olivia had sat with her mouth slightly open, trying to process what he was saying, scared to believe the truth of his words and the assumption behind them. Could he actually be telling her that he was in love with her, and so easily dismissing the possibility that she felt the same? He had quickly moved on to pleading for her to allow him to remain in their lives before she had even been given the chance to respond.</p>
      <p>What could possibly have happened to this beautiful, complex, damaged man that her love for him hadn't even crossed his mind?</p>
      <p>She slowly shook her head.</p>
      <p>Barba held up his hand, "No, please. I'm not expecting anything…just…please just give this some time? I really don't expect anything from you, your friendship means-" His words were cut off suddenly by the life-altering and soul-shaking feeling of her lips against his. It was one of those moments when his brain was simultaneously whirling with a million thoughts…and also completely still.</p>
      <p>After a moment of no response, Olivia slowly pulled back and looked into his wide eyes.</p>
      <p>"Sorry, I needed you to stop," she said simply.</p>
      <p>His mind short-circuited for a moment and then he tried to speak, "You needed me to…?"</p>
      <p><em>"Stop,"</em> Olivia repeated.</p>
      <p>"Stop?" Barba stared at her desperately.</p>
      <p>"Stop. Stop spiralling. Stop making assumptions about yourself, about our friendship, about my feelings for you…just…stop," Olivia said firmly.</p>
      <p>"Stop?" He repeated.</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled and thought that if her heart wasn't still racing…and if the scent of <em>him</em> combined with the feeling of his lips against hers hadn't caused her whole body to flush with heat...she might have laughed at the ridiculousness of this entire situation.</p>
      <p>"Rafael…" she said gently and with more poise than she felt, "…was that your unbelievably fucked up way of telling me that you're in love with me?"</p>
      <p>His mouth opened a little and he slowly tilted his head forward in what Olivia assumed was his attempt at a nod.</p>
      <p>"Because, if it was…and I very much hope it was…I'd love for you to slow down. Maybe back up and wait for my thoughts on the matter before you steam ahead and decide how <em>we're</em> going to move forward," Olivia raised her eyebrows and paused.</p>
      <p>"Y-your…your thoughts on the matter?" Barba experimented with whole sentences.</p>
      <p>"It seems that my son loves you, you love my son…and…" her voice wavered a little now, "…apparently you are in love with me?"</p>
      <p>His jaw clenched and he nodded again.</p>
      <p>"You could say that this has the potential for a perfect situation. A perfect triangle…" She smiled.</p>
      <p>Barba frowned, was she teasing him right now? Actually making fun of him? Was she…</p>
      <p>"I love you, Rafa, <em>so</em> much. I…" She paused and watched his throat bob when he swallowed heavily. "I have no idea what you want, not really. I know you so well…but right now I feel like I know nothing at all. I mean, do you even want to be a father? Is that something you would even consider? Because Noah has to come first and he already loves you so much. I'm sorry, I know it's a lot to ask, but I can't start anything with you unless you're sure. I know that losing you would break my heart in a way I don't even want to contemplate, but I can't risk <em>his</em> heart, not because of my desire for you, or my-"</p>
      <p>Olivia gasped tearfully against his mouth as he kissed her, his hand coming to her waist firmly when she fell back against the couch and he leaned forward to cover her body. "Raf…" she started and then groaned when his tongue slid smoothly into her mouth and her whole body arched up against him. "God…!"</p>
      <p>"You really want me?" He finally asked breathlessly against her lips.</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled broadly, her eyes dancing with love and humor. "Hell yes," she assured and brought her hand up to run her fingers into his dishevelled hair. <em>"</em>You're really sure?"</p>
      <p>He smiled, looking shocked and overwhelmed. "Oh, hell yes," he echoed and Olivia brushed a tear from his cheek with her thumb.</p>
      <p> </p>
      <p>
        <em>TBC…</em>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Waking Up</h2></a>
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<p></p><div><p>Olivia woke the following morning and took a long slow breath in when she felt the weight of an arm over her waist and warmth permeating down her bare back.</p><p>
        <em>It hadn't been a dream.</em>
      </p><p>Without opening her eyes she slid her hand up to stroke over his forearm and then linked their fingers.</p><p>"Morning…" An achingly familiar voice greeted her with a rough and sleepy tone. Barba wrapped her tighter in his embrace and his lips trailed slowly along her shoulder.</p><p>Last night had left no room in Olivia's mind for doubts or morning-after insecurities - she had never felt so sure that this was exactly where they were meant to be. Ultimately, where they had always been heading.</p><p>"Morning…" Olivia replied with a smile and moved away slightly before turning to face him.</p><p>Barba's eyes glowed with happiness as she ran her nose alongside his. "Sleep well?" He checked.</p><p>She scanned his face, taking in the glorious sight of Rafael Barba laying sleepily in her bed. "Mmmmm…briefer than I would usually like, but I can't remember ever sleeping this well," she assured happily and leaned in to press a chaste kiss to his lips. "So you really are out of options, Rafa, I'm definitely going to keep you."</p><p>He laughed and slid his arm around her more firmly, hauling her body against his and linking their legs.</p><p>Olivia's teeth grazed his stubble lightly before she moved up to kiss his lips. "ADA Barba, we're naked…" she observed against his mouth with a teasing tone.</p><p>"You noticed?" Barba laughed and lazily traced his lips over her face.</p><p>"Can I wake up to find you naked in my bed every morning?" She smiled, tears of joy inexplicably threatening her eyes.</p><p>"I'll have to speak to Carmen and check my schedule…" he replied with mock nonchalance. "Ouch! You actually pinched me!" He protested moments later.</p><p>"You have a very pinch-able ass, Rafa," she retorted, "…so I'm not going to lie and claim that will be a one-off."</p><p>"I'm still not sure this isn't a dream…" Barba said, still sounding a little in shock.</p><p>"You have a lot of dreams like this?" Olivia tilted her head up and looked into his eyes.</p><p>He chuckled and then pressed his lips to her temple, "Starring you naked? Countless. I'm only human, mi alma. This good? My imagination couldn't have created anything <em>this</em> good…" he paused and slid his hand down over her ass, "…so I guess I can't be dreaming."</p><p>Olivia laughed and lightly traced her lips and teeth along his jaw. "Nothing could feel this good, mi amor," she assured softly against his skin.</p><p>Barba groaned, "I'm not dreaming, I'm dead. This is heaven."</p><p>She laughed, "I can assure you that you're <em>very much</em> alive, sweetheart. You know three times is pretty good for…"</p><p>"A guy my age?" He cut in with a grin.</p><p>"For <em>any</em> man," she assured, smiling and arching an eyebrow, "…your stamina, your<em> everything</em>. You're extremely impressive, counsellor."</p><p>"I hope you don't expect that every night," he warned, only half-joking.</p><p>"You naked in my bed? Absolutely," she asserted quickly. "The athletic sex can be more evenly distributed though," she laughed reflectively, "if we did that every night I wouldn't be fit for work."</p><p>Barba looked at her with concern, "We didn't…I didn't hurt you?"</p><p>Olivia laughed and brought her hand to the side of his face. "Hurt me? Rafa, that was… I've just had the best sex of my life. It makes me regret all the years we've missed out on...but no you didn't hurt me, you could never hurt me."</p><p>"I love you," he replied softly.</p><p>She smiled, "I love you too…" Olivia snuggled back against him. "Yet another joy that my beautiful son has brought into my life."</p><p>"We've basically been parent-trapped haven't we?" Barba joked playfully.</p><p>"A variation on a theme," Olivia laughed, "...but this time Noah simply selected <em>his</em> daddy." She felt his breath catch and looked up at Barba's face.</p><p>"I'm the luckiest man on the planet," he smiled contently and kissed her.</p><p>"When he passes his test he gets a car," Olivia joked and kissed up under his ear.</p><p>"You won't hear any arguments from me," Barba assured. "I'm already considering showering him with gifts."</p><p>"He said that he didn't want any, nothing for his birthday or Christmas…" She informed him, her lips still casually exploring his skin.</p><p>Barba looked down at her and raised an eyebrow, "Is he <em>ill?"<br/>
</em></p><p>Olivia laughed, "He told me that he just wants you. Nothing else. No Christmas. No birthday. Just you."</p><p>Tears welled in his eyes, "'Livia, I…"</p><p>"That's all I want too, Rafa. Just you and Noah…" she wrapped her upper leg over his thigh, "…I've never been this happy."</p><p>Barba breathed in sharply and nodded, overwhelmed by the last 24hrs and so unbelievably grateful at the unexpected change in the direction his life had suddenly taken. He had two people who were relying on him now, two people who he loved more than anything else in the world…and who had miraculously opened up their lives and hearts to <em>him.</em></p>
<hr/><p>An hour later, Barba sat on the edge of the bed with a bed sheet wrapped around his middle. He looked up to see that it was a little after 8 am.</p><p>He picked up Olivia's phone "Liv!" He called through to her in the shower, "What's the passcode for your cell?"</p><p>"Why?" She called back and then after a moment added, "10-06-31."</p><p>Barba smirked and typed in the number. He scrolled down her phonebook until he found the contact that he needed and called.</p><p><strong><em>"Olivia? Everything okay?"</em> </strong>Lucy's voice answered after a moment.</p><p>"Sorry, Lucy, it's Rafael," Barba started.</p><p><strong><em>"Calling on Olivia's cell first thing on a Sunday morning? Noah's research must be going really well..."</em></strong> She quipped.</p><p>"He told you all about it?" Barba asked, only mildly embarrassed.</p><p><strong><em>"I think it's wonderful, Mr Barba, I mean Rafael..."</em></strong> she corrected herself. <strong><em>"Is everything okay?"</em> </strong>Lucy really didn't know what the situation was and in spite of her teasing, she wouldn't be surprised to find out that he had slept on the couch.</p><p>"I wondered if you were available on Thursday evening? I'm calling you without Liv's knowledge because I'd like to surprise her, but I can't be long because she's in the shower," he explained succinctly.</p><p>Lucy smiled, <strong><em>"Is this a date, Rafael?"</em></strong></p><p>"I have theater tickets for something that I know she wants to see, I've been trying to figure out how to...I mean..." His voice trailed off a little.</p><p><strong><em>"If I wasn't free already I would make sure that I made myself available, I know how much this means to Noah,"</em></strong> Lucy assured with a smile.</p><p>"Me taking his mother to the theater?" Barba joked, knowing exactly what she meant.</p><p><strong><em>"I can stay through after pick-up,"</em> </strong>Lucy moved along quickly, not even crediting his mock ignorance with a response. <strong><em>"That will give Olivia plenty of time to get ready for her date, especially as I assume you don't plan on giving her much notice."</em></strong></p><p>Barba paused thoughtfully, "Would lunch on Thursday be enough time to surprise her without causing undue stress?"</p><p>Lucy laughed warmly at his thoughtfulness, <strong><em>"That should be fine, her main concern will be Noah and you already have that covered."</em></strong> She paused and then added, <strong><em>"I have no doubt she'll be please to just be spending the evening alone with you, Rafael."</em></strong></p><p>"I won't tell her where we're going until the evening," Barba added, actually feeling quite excited and wanting to share his plans. He'd been trying to figure out how to invite her, or at least give her the tickets, for a couple of weeks now. He'd finally settled on offering them to her a few days before the event, implying that his guest had called off. He'd hoped that they would have been able to go together, but if that hadn't occurred to her he would have been happy in the knowledge that she had been able to enjoy the show.</p><p><strong><em>"Well, I have a feeling our paths will cross in the week...and a lot more often in the future...but if by chance I don't see you before Thursday, I hope you both have a wonderful evening,"</em> </strong>Lucy replied cheerfully.</p><p>"Thank you, Lucy, and thank you for Thursday. Goodbye," Barba ended the call and smiled. He knew that Lucy had read between the lines of his changed relationship with Olivia and was please that she sounded thrilled and not even a little surprised.</p><p>After a moment, he heard the shower turn off, so he spoke a little louder through the slightly ajar door. "What time does Noah usually get up?" He checked.</p><p>"Without being called? Maybe an hour, if I'm lucky. I usually let him have a little longer on a Sunday though, when I'm off…" Olivia explained as she walked through from the bathroom wrapped in a towel.</p><p>He grinned up at her, his eyes sparkling and slightly crinkling at the sides.</p><p><em>"What?"</em> She laughed and propped her hands on her waist.</p><p>"You're a beautiful sight, Lieutenant Benson," Barba smiled. He stood, walked over to her and slipped his hands under hers on her waist.</p><p>"What did you need my cell for?" Olivia asked as she wrapped her arms comfortably around his neck.</p><p>"Secret," Barba grinned and waggled his eyebrows. He kissed her and tasted toothpaste. "I should have a shower and brush my teeth," he said reluctantly as he stepped away.</p><p>"You smell <em>and</em> taste amazing," she assured with a twinkle in her eyes, "but sure if you absolutely must."</p><p>"I smell like sex," Barba rolled his eyes.</p><p>She watched him walk away with an exaggerated leer and he laughed as he disappeared into the bathroom.</p>
<hr/><p>Fifteen minutes later, he walked out with his own towel loosely hanging around his waist.</p><p>Olivia had just dressed and glanced up at him from her seat on the bed as she pulled on her second sock. Her mouth dropped open a little and she scanned him up and down. "Now who's the lucky one?" She observed huskily. "You look <em>edible,</em> Rafa."</p><p>Barba shrugged a little and laughed, "Liv, you don't have to…"</p><p>"I don't have to, what? Tell you how sexy you are? Tell you that if I was sure we had time we'd already be heading toward our fifth round?" Olivia teased and walked toward him, wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing him softly. "You're…" she grazed her teeth over her bottom lip as she gazed at him, "…you <em>exude</em> sensuality, Rafa. I've never wanted <em>anyone </em>the way I want you. So, fair warning - now that I know I can have you, I'm going to want you a lot."</p><p>Barba groaned and they fell into an exploring kiss, his hand coming up to comb into her hair as his head tilted to allow a deeper angle.</p><p>"I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to stop kissing you," he muttered against her mouth after several minutes.</p><p>"Never feel that you have to…" Olivia assured and nipped his lower lip teasingly.</p><p>"Even at work?" He joked.</p><p>Olivia smirked, "Well, no, maybe not at work." She glanced to the floor. "We'll need to disclose," she added a little tentatively.</p><p>"Monday," Barba agreed easily.</p><p>"They won't like it," she warned unnecessarily.</p><p>"As if I care," he rolled his eyes and kissed her again, "…I'll be the most envied person in the DA's office."</p><p>"You don't care about your career?" Olivia enquired with an arched eyebrow.</p><p>"Well, I care…" he amended with a smirk, "…just not as much as I care about you…or Noah. I have a good reputation, even if the worst happened I wouldn't exactly be unemployed for long."</p><p>"You have an <em>amazing</em> reputation, Rafa, you're the best," Olivia corrected.</p><p>"See, I have an amazing cheer squad, what more could I need?" He joked.</p><p>"That easy though?" She asked with concern.</p><p>"You and Noah are non-negotiable, everything else will fall into place," he shrugged.</p><p>"I know I keep saying this, but I really love you," she replied happily.</p><p>His eyes glowed. "What about Noah?" Barba asked.</p><p>"You already know that he loves you," she frowned in confusion, "…this is going to make his year, Rafa. Hell, it's going to make his life!"</p><p>Barba flushed a little at her assertion but shook his head. "No, I mean, do we tell him? About us," he elucidated.</p><p>"You're sure? I mean, I know you're sure…but one last time…you're in? All in?" Olivia looked into his eyes, silently assuring him that she didn't doubt him for a moment, she just needed to hear it again.</p><p>"All in," he vowed. "The practical decisions can be ironed out later, but till death do us part, I'm in for as long as you'll have me. You mean everything to me, 'Livia - you <em>and</em> Noah."</p><p>When she heard his choice of words Olivia breathed in sharply in order to try to hold back her tears, then nodded confidently. "So we tell him, Rafa. We simply tell him that he was right. That you are in love with me, and that I am in love with you, and that we <em>both</em> love him very much. That we still have a lot to sort out, but one day <em>very</em> soon we will all be together forever. A family. That you will share a bedroom with me and sleep just next door…so he will see you every single day."</p><p>"And that one day, if that's what he wants, I could be his daddy?" Barba suggested cautiously.</p><p>"In so many ways you already are, Rafa." A tear did escape down Olivia's cheek now and she smiled as he softly brushed it away. "He's going to be <em>so</em> happy," she repeated tearfully.</p><p>Barba smiled, he knew the feeling, then he leaned in to kiss her again.</p><p> </p><p>
        <em>TBC…</em>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sunday with Mommy...and Rafa</h2></a>
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      <p>Noah woke and blinked his eyes in the morning sun, he had become accustomed to waking when it was a little darker over the last few weeks and without really registering the difference Noah seemed to know instinctively that he had slept in.</p>
      <p><em>It was Sunday morning, </em>he thought with a smile, <em>Sunday morning with Mommy.</em></p>
      <p>The thought made him remember the evening before and his mind moved to his Uncle Rafa. Mommy was going to talk to him today, talk to him about his research. His mood dropped a little, he was worried that Mommy had asked for time to think so she could explain to him why they couldn't keep Uncle Rafa.</p>
      <p>Noah frowned a little and turned to drop his legs out of bed, he saw Eddie on the floor and bent to pick him up. He placed the elephant on his bed and then walked towards the door, only registering at the last minute the scent of hot food emanating from the kitchen.</p>
      <p>Something else he hadn't noticed before...when he pulled open the door he heard the quiet hum of friendly conversation - and then his mommy <em>laughed.</em></p>
      <p>"Uncle Rafa!" Noah ran around the corner and collided with Olivia's legs.</p>
      <p>"Woah, my sweet boy! I didn't hear you get up!" Olivia laughed happily and bent to lift him up onto the kitchen counter next to them.</p>
      <p>Noah grinned at Barba and then smiled brightly at his mommy, "Uncle Rafa came for breakfast?!"</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled at her new lover and then back at her son, "Actually, Uncle Rafa had a sleepover…and now he's offered to make us both breakfast."</p>
      <p>Noah's jaw dropped open and he noticed his notebook laying nearby, picking it up he turned the book over in his hands and then peered carefully at his Uncle Rafa. "A special friends grownup sleepover?" he inquired carefully.</p>
      <p>Barba smiled at Olivia and then looked back to the little boy. "A special friends grownup sleepover," he confirmed. "Noah, I love your mommy very much."</p>
      <p>"I<em> knew </em>it!" Noah gasped and hugged his notebook to his chest excitedly.</p>
      <p>"And I love your Uncle Rafa very much as well," Olivia confirmed with a smile. "We took some time to talk together last night and we need you to understand that this might take a little time…but we <em>are</em> going to be a family."</p>
      <p>Noah felt tears well in his eyes and he looked between the two adults. He bit his lip because his smile was starting to hurt, then he realised that he now understood why grownups sometimes cry when they are happy. Sometimes you are so filled with happiness that it leaks out of your eyes.</p>
      <p>"We could pack today!" Noah suggested helpfully.</p>
      <p>Olivia laughed, "Slow down, baby, I'm as excited as you are but it takes a while for two grownups to rearrange their whole lives. We have two homes, we need to move a lot of things…and we haven't even decided where we would live."</p>
      <p>"Together!" Noah explained with a little bounce.</p>
      <p>"You know, Noah," Barba said with a smile as he stepped closer, "…I want to say thank you."</p>
      <p>"To <em>me?"</em> Noah asked brightly. Uncle Rafa was proud of him?</p>
      <p>"To <em>you,"</em> he nodded. "Your clever research, all the work you did…you helped me and your mommy realise how much we love each other. You helped to bring us together. We are very happy, Noah…and if it were possible I would love you even more for that."</p>
      <p>"Possible?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>"I couldn't love you more than I already do," Barba assured.</p>
      <p>"You love my mommy just as much?" Noah checked.</p>
      <p>"More than anything, Noah," Barba assured solemnly.</p>
      <p>"It <em>is</em> you! I knew it! As soon as you explained to me what love is!" Noah's eyes danced. "I knew that there couldn't be someone who loved us more than you!"</p>
      <p>Olivia sobbed a little, closing her eyes and turning to rest her face against Barba's neck. She felt his arm wrap around her as his hand gripped her waist, then his lips press against her temple.</p>
      <p>"Happy tears?" Noah checked with Uncle Rafa.</p>
      <p>"Happy tears," Olivia assured and smiled against Barba's skin. Then she turned to face Noah with a broad grin.</p>
      <p>"I knew you'd like extra cuddles," Noah observed sagely, "…you love hugs."</p>
      <p>Olivia laughed joyfully, "I do, and hugs from you and Rafa are my absolute <em>favorites."</em></p>
      <p>Noah held out his arms and they each put an arm around him and pulled the little boy close. "Sunday hugs!" He cheered happily as they pulled back.</p>
      <p>"And Sunday morning breakfast…" Barba nodded and returned to his omelette making.</p>
      <p>"You're going to spend the day with us?" Noah asked excitedly.</p>
      <p>"I've promised my mami that I would meet her for mass at 4," Barba informed him with a smile, "…but I'm all yours until then."</p>
      <p>Noah's face dropped a little.</p>
      <p>"Maybe if we ask nicely Uncle Rafa might come back for another sleepover tonight…?" Olivia suggested, looking at Noah but really aiming the question at Barba.</p>
      <p>"Really?" Barba asked and looked over at her.</p>
      <p>"You could stop by yours and get some things?" She suggested, looking directly at him now. "It's going to be another terribly cold night."</p>
      <p>A slow smile spread across Barba's face.</p>
      <p>"Uncle Rafa keeps you warm?" Noah asked.</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled, <em>"Very</em> warm."</p>
      <p>"Okay, so I'll stop off and get a suit for tomorrow. I should be home by 7 at the latest," Barba agreed easily.</p>
      <p>Olivia tried not to make a big deal in her head when he said 'home', but she did…and she knew why he'd said it. The three of them were already feeling like a unit. She realised with hindsight that Noah had been craving this closeness for months, and now that she knew Rafael could be theirs, she was more than willing to jump in feet first.</p>
      <p>"We could go to...maps(?)!" Noah suggested excitedly. He wasn't sure that he was ready to let Uncle Rafa out of his sight quite yet.</p>
      <p><em>"Mass,</em> Noah," Barba glanced at Olivia and smiled, then looked back at his little friend, "…it's a catholic mass in Spanish. You'd be extremely bored."</p>
      <p>"I could meet your mommy!" Noah pointed out.</p>
      <p>"They don't even like you to speak during the service," Barba continued to attempt to assuage his enthusiasm and Olivia laughed.</p>
      <p>"I could…" Noah thought, "….take a book!"</p>
      <p>Barba smiled and looked at Olivia.</p>
      <p>"Would that be okay?" She asked.</p>
      <p>"Of course, but you don't have to…" Barba started.</p>
      <p>"I think we'd like too…" she looked at Noah who nodded excitedly, "…if we're invited?"</p>
      <p>"You're always invited," Barba assured.</p>
      <p>"So we're going with Uncle Rafa?" Noah grinned.</p>
      <p>Olivia nodded, "I guess we are…"</p>
      <hr/>
      <p>Noah walked into the huge space and automatically reached for his Uncle Rafa's hand. It was <em>enormous!</em> The room had super high ceilings and the windows were all big and tall, with pictures all over them that he didn't really understand.</p>
      <p>He held tight onto his book and looked up at Mommy.</p>
      <p>"It's okay Noah," Olivia said with a warm smile, "…do you like the pretty music?"</p>
      <p>Noah focused on the music and smiled, Mommy was right, it was pretty. He looked around the room and took in the lively atmosphere, noticing now that people were smiling at each other and seemed very happy to be here. Over in the corner, there were some children playing on some chairs and he started to relax at the familiar sight.</p>
      <p>He noticed one lady smiling even more than anyone else and then realised that she was looking right at his Uncle Rafa!</p>
      <p>"Mijo!"</p>
      <p>The lady greeted Uncle Rafa with a hug, but Noah held firmly onto his hand so was almost pulled into her side.</p>
      <p>"And who do we have here?" The lady smiled down at Noah, looking very surprised to see him.</p>
      <p>"Mami, this is my young friend Noah - he asked if he could join us today," Barba introduced them as he crouched down next to him and then lifted him up in the air. "Noah, this is my mami, Lucia."</p>
      <p>Noah smiled and held out his hand, just as he had seen his Uncle Rafa and Mommy do. "Hello, Uncle Rafa's mommy, it's very nice to meet you," he said politely.</p>
      <p>The lady's smile grew even bigger and she shook his hand gently, "It's very nice to meet you too, Noah. Please, call me Lucia."</p>
      <p>Noah nodded, thought about the name carefully and then repeated, "Lu-cia?"</p>
      <p>"Exactly right," the lady smiled and then looked at Olivia.</p>
      <p>Noah thought that his Uncle Rafa smiled a little differently when he introduced his mommy…</p>
      <p>"I realise you've met before…" Barba ran his hand over the base of Olivia's back, "…but Mami, this is Olivia, my…"</p>
      <p>"Special friend?" Noah suggested helpfully and then watched his mommy go a little pink as she leaned forward to shake Lucia's hand.</p>
      <p>"It's nice to meet you again, Lucia," Olivia said warmly, "…I hope you don't mind our intrusion?"</p>
      <p>"I told you, you are <em>never</em> intruding," Barba assured firmly and rested his hand on her hip.</p>
      <p>Lucia's smile was ear to ear now as she looked from Noah, then Olivia and then finally to her son. "For weeks you miss mass, mijo, and then when you finally attend you bring such beautiful company…" she smiled back at Olivia, "…my son knows how to win my favor, Olivia."</p>
      <p>"Have you been a neglectful son?" Olivia teased Barba lightly and leaned into his side.</p>
      <p>"You've been keeping me somewhat busy with work, mi alma," Barba retorted smoothly, "…I could blame you if I wished to ingratiate myself."</p>
      <p>"You could try…" Olivia responded dryly, and then grinned broadly.</p>
      <p>Lucia's eyebrows raised at her son's easy term of endearment and looked between the three. They were a family.</p>
      <p>"Rafi has warned you that the service is in Spanish?" Lucia asked Olivia and smiled at Noah.</p>
      <p>"Noah has a book, but I think I'll be okay…" Olivia assured.</p>
      <p>"Olivia's Spanish is excellent," Barba added proudly, "…I've actually lost track of how many languages she can speak."</p>
      <p>Olivia laughed with a little embarrassment at Barba's praise. "Some better than others," she assured, "Spanish is certainly useful on the job, but recent years have given me good reason to brush up on my more…personal Spanish."</p>
      <p>Lucia smiled warmly at the lady she was beginning to realise was going to play a major role in her own future. "Bienvenido querida…" she told Olivia warmly.</p>
      <p>Olivia smiled and reached out to hold her hand briefly, "Les agradezco mucho."</p>
      <p>Lucia looked at her son, "Elegiste muy bien, mijo," she assured softly, well aware that Olivia would hear and understand.</p>
      <p>Barba laughed and pressed a kiss to Noah's temple, "No choices were made, mami…this was an all or nothing situation."</p>
      <p>Lucia tilted her head at her son, smiled a little wistfully and then nodded, "Devoción…" She looked around her and could see that people were beginning to settle. "Speaking of which, shall we sit?"</p>
      <p>Barba nodded and they moved into a pew - Lucia first, then Barba stood back to let Olivia through, and then finally, he took his seat near the aisle. Noah climbed up and quickly sat himself on Barba's lap.</p>
      <p>"Are you going to be okay?" Olivia asked softly into his ear. Noah was understandably a little clingy right now, but she knew that his weight could be a lot for the whole service.</p>
      <p>"Fine," Barba assured putting his arm around Noah securely as he rested his feet on Olivia's lap.</p>
      <p>Noah opened his book but then looked around, taking in the way people had started to go quiet and the change in music…something was about to start.</p>
      <p>"Rafi certainly seems close to your son…" Lucia leaned in and whispered to Olivia.</p>
      <p>Olivia looked over at them - Barba pointed at a picture and whispered something to Noah, the boy laughed and then Barba brought his fingers to Noah's lips then his own. He was silently reminding him that they needed to be quiet - but also assuring Noah that this time was his own fault, he shouldn't have made him laugh. Noah grinned and nodded.</p>
      <p>"They are," Olivia replied softly, "…in fact, Noah has recently been working on his own personal project - Operation Daddy."</p>
      <p>Lucia's eyes glowed with affectionate surprise.</p>
      <p>"My son has selected his daddy, Lucia," Olivia told her just as the service was starting to begin. The two ladies looked over as Noah rested his head on Barba's shoulder and started to read. "…and honestly, life couldn't be more perfect."</p>
      <p> </p>
      <p>
        <em>TBC...</em>
      </p>
      <p> </p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Date Night</h2></a>
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<p></p><div><p>Olivia was wrong - there was always room for life to get even better.</p><p>Later that Sunday evening Lucia had come home with them for a meal, then after putting Noah to bed Barba had joined Olivia and they'd enjoyed a night of serene and uninterrupted sleep.</p><p>In spite of their intentions the next few days were completely hectic - so plans to fill out their disclosure forms had repeatedly been put on hold. Although Rafael <em>had</em> found time to go and collect some more of his things, so between work and home he and Olivia had hardly been apart since the weekend.</p><p>Under normal circumstances, it could have been an awful week. They were concurrently working on three harrowing cases, one of which featured the kind of wealthy and arrogant suspects that would usually have set Olivia's teeth on edge…but every evening she found herself at home with Rafael and Noah.</p><p>They had all talked and bonded even more over early meals together, then after Noah had been put to bed they either spent their evenings bickering over work, or, when on a self-imposed work embargo, they had chatted aimlessly in front of a television that neither of them was even watching.</p><p>On two beautiful nights, they made love - slow and easily, taking time to explore each other's bodies. Then on Wednesday, they had fallen into bed at a little after nine, almost delirious from the exhaustion of the day. They had finally crawled into each other's arms, sharing brief sleepy kisses before drifting off to sleep - Rafael lying on his back and Olivia curled into his side with her face nestled against his neck.</p><p>Olivia had rushed out early on Thursday morning because Lucy had told her she was unable to pick up Noah from school that day. This meant that she would need to finish work early and Fin had readily agreed to step up for her from three so that she would be on time for pick up.</p><p>By midday, Olivia was already on her fifth coffee and her poor mood was not helped by the fact that she hadn't seen Rafael since she'd left him sleeping in bed at 5 am that morning. She hated to think of herself as needy, she reflected, but seeing him now might be the energy boost that she needed to get her through to the end of her day.</p><p>"You okay, Lieu?" Carisi asked, peering up at her from his seat at the large table.</p><p>Olivia had just been running through one of their cases, then moments after Fin had cut in to add a point their boss seemed to drift away with a funny smile on her face.</p><p>"Boss, am I imaginin' things or were you daydreamin'?" Rollins laughed and leaned back in her chair.</p><p>"I was just…<em>thinking,"</em> Olivia asserted in a tone that she intended to be sharp, but somehow seemed to end with another smile.</p><p>"Nah!" Fin laughed. "Now even I'm fascinated! What the hell is <em>that</em> smile?"</p><p>"None of your business, sergeant," Olivia retorted pointedly.</p><p>Then the entire crew watched with growing fascination as the unfamiliar smile returned at full volume.</p><p>Olivia's attention had now been drawn over their heads and they all turned in unison to discover ADA Barba strolling casually toward them with a tray of coffee in his hand.</p><p>"Well, how are we all doing?" Barba asked as he placed the tray on the table, dropped his bag on a chair and then removed two drinks and walked toward their boss. "You all lost your voices?" Barba asked with mild amusement as he passed Olivia a drink and then looked at the board to see where they were.</p><p>"We're makin' headway," Fin responded with an amused smile, "…or we were til we lost our lieutenant…"</p><p>Barba looked completely baffled.</p><p>"I suspect the boss is in luuuuurve…" Rollins teased mercilessly, partly to see how the lawyer would react.</p><p><em>"Fascinating…" </em>Barba dismissed her comment with a roll of his eyes and walked around to pull a file out of his bag, "…now if we're quite finished enacting our very own episode of Days of Our Lives maybe we could focus on the case?" He glanced up at Olivia out of the corner of his eye and she smiled.</p><p>A move that was not missed by a single member of the elite detective squad sat around the table.</p><p>After about half an hour, Olivia excused herself to make a call. Then following two minutes of unnecessary time-wasting the squad watched in fascination and wonder as Barba made his own excuse and headed toward her office.</p><p>"No way!" Carisi exclaimed in hushed tones as soon as the lawyer had gone.</p><p><em>"Definitely,"</em> Rollins confirmed. "Did you see that silent eye communication?"</p><p>"That ain't nothing new," Fin pointed out.</p><p>"Come on, that was somethin' more!" Rollin asserted with a smirk. "That was damn near eye-sex!"</p><p>"Once more, that's nothin' new…" Fin smirked.</p><p>"Didn't you see that smile on her face when he arrived? She couldn't hide it!" Rollins maintained, getting frustrated by Fin's dismissal.</p><p>Fin shrugged but granted her a small smile.</p><p>"Come on! What do you know?" Rollins laughed.</p><p>Fin held his hands up, "Nothin'! I swear…just…"</p><p>"What?" Carisi prompted.</p><p>Fin sighed, then glanced at the office and shrugged again. "Just, I've known her for a long time. Liv…" he trailed off.</p><p>Rollins nodded encouragingly, "This isn't gossip, Fin. You know we care for her…for both of them."</p><p>Fin smiled reluctantly again, "I think maybe she…and <em>Noah</em>…they really care for him, okay? And if she did have feelin's for him…well, he's a good guy."</p><p>"Awww, Fin!" Rollin's smiled, "You sound like a proud papa!"</p><p>Fin sighed and shook his head, as though trying to brush off the sentimentality of it all.</p><p>"He <em>is</em> a good man," Carisi agreed, trying to lighten the pressure on Fin a little, "…and of all people, Liv has earned some happiness." He recalled his chat with Noah earlier in the week and added, "Noah thinks the world of him, doesn't he?"</p><p>Fin chuckled now, thinking back to the awkward situation that he had escaped on Saturday. "Undoubtedly," he conceded.</p><p>"And Daddy makes three…" Rollins concluded with a smile as they all looked over at the office door.</p>
<hr/><p>Rafael walked into Liv's office and suddenly found himself crowded back against the wall.</p><p>"I've missed you…" Olivia grinned and kissed him.</p><p>"I seem to remember someone who looked a lot like you saying that workplace making out was not allowed?" Rafael laughed against her lips as his hand stroked firmly up her back and pulled her body against his.</p><p>"That woman was obviously an idiot," Olivia sucked lightly on his bottom lip and then shifted her knee between his legs.</p><p>"You keep that up and we'll be doing a hell of a lot more than making out," he advised and then combed his fingers into her hair.</p><p>"Don't mess up my hair," Olivia warned halfheartedly and kissed him again, ", someone will notice."</p><p>Rafael slowly traced her lips with his. "Trust me, they might notice what you're doing to <em>me</em> as well."</p><p>Olivia carefully brought her thigh from between his legs. "I don't doubt it," she smiled happily, "...there's a lot to notice."</p><p>"'Livia…" Rafael begged her with a pleading expression.</p><p>She surrendered and stepped back a little, then reached around to lock the door.</p><p>"Now what are you doing, lieutenant?" He inquired with an arched eyebrow.</p><p>"I really need a hug, can we sit for a while? I just don't want anyone to walk in…" Olivia nodded toward her couch.</p><p>"They'll talk…" Rafael cautioned, referring to the squad.</p><p>"I don't care," Olivia dismissed, "...also, they already 'talk'."</p><p>"They talk?" Rafael asked as they moved to the couch and sat.</p><p>Olivia curled into his side comfortably, one leg hooked over his thigh.</p><p>"We shouldn't be reckless with our relationship, mi amor," Barba cautioned softly.</p><p>Olivia smiled and turned to kiss his neck. "I'm not, Rafa, I'm being reckless with my career. No matter what happens you're stuck with me now...Noah and I are not giving you up for anything."</p><p>Rafael kissed her temple. "Ditto..." he replied softly.</p><p>After a few minutes, Olivia slipped out one of his cufflinks and then traced her fingertips over the warm skin of his forearm.</p><p>"So, I may have been plotting…" Rafael spoke softly, luxuriating in the completely relaxed weight of her body against his.</p><p>She smiled, "Plotting?"</p><p>"You're off tomorrow, right?" He checked.</p><p>"You know I am…" Olivia smiled, "…can you still take a half-day? I really like the idea of you and I taking an afternoon 'nap' together while Noah is still at school, Lucy has him until six."</p><p>Rafael adored how oblivious she was to his plans. "I'm taking you out tonight," he told her gently.</p><p>Olivia looked up at him with surprise, "With Noah? It's a school night..."</p><p>"Lucy is picking him up from school and taking him to hers for the night," he explained, "…she's going to drop him at school in the morning, then I'm going to get him tomorrow afternoon and Lucy is taking the weekend off."</p><p>Olivia's jaw dropped, "But…?"</p><p>"I hope the whole night together will make up for missing our afternoon delight," he teased and kissed her slightly open mouth.</p><p>"Rafa...?" Olivia was baffled.</p><p>"I've taken the whole day tomorrow, and the weekend…" Rafael explained, "…I can spend some time with Noah on Sunday while you're at work…and tonight is our very first date night!"</p><p>A smile started to spread over Olivia's face, "Date night?"</p><p>"You finish at 3, so I'll pick you up at a little after 5:30…" Rafael teased her with as little information as possible.</p><p>"So early? Where are we even going?" Olivia asked with a broad grin.</p><p>"It's a surprise," Rafael smiled, "…but I promise you'll enjoy it."</p><p>Olivia ran her hand up over his broad bicep. "I don't doubt it…" she leaned up to kiss him, "…my first date night with <em>my</em> gorgeous man."</p><p>"Are you still tired? Do you want me to go and get you some more coffee? Maybe I should have thought about that before organising tonight…" he frowned with concern.</p><p>"I feel completely rejuvenated…" she assured and pressed her smiling lips against his, "…and excited about our evening. You're all the caffeine I need, Rafa."</p><p>He chuckled happily, "We really should get back out there, mi amor, they'll be wondering where we are."</p><p>Olivia sighed, kissed his neck and then nuzzled back against him. "I need five more minutes," she said happily, "…I'm still charging."</p>
<hr/><p>At 5:27 Olivia opened the door to Rafael.</p><p>"Lost your keys?" She grinned and looked him up and down.</p><p>"It's date night, so it seemed like I should knock," Rafael replied and leaned against the door frame as his eyes roamed her body. "You look amazing…"</p><p>Olivia preened exaggeratedly, brushing down her fitted knee-length maroon dress and then tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "You look pretty damn good yourself, counsellor…you know I think that's one of my favourite suits?" She slowly unfastened his coat and then looked inside the jacket and found red suspenders over his grey shirt. "Oh yes, I haven't had the pleasure of removing this ensemble yet…although I've thought about it often."</p><p>Rafael groaned, "Liv, are you trying to kill me? We <em>are</em> going out…"</p><p>"We could eat at home," Olivia tempted him, "…clothing optional?"</p><p>"Liv!" He complained desperately. "Besides, we're not going for a meal."</p><p>Olivia raised an eyebrow, "No food?"</p><p>"We can go for something to eat afterwards if you would like, but I'm beginning to like the idea of getting take out…" Barba smirked.</p><p>"Naked take out?" She grinned.</p><p>"Well, I intend on being clothed when we pick it up…" he drawled, then he was cut off when Olivia grabbed his tie and pulled him forward.</p><p>She pressed her lips against his. "I missed you…" She teased happily and briefly deepened their kiss.</p><p>"It's been three hours, 'Livia…" he joked and then added, "…but I missed you too."</p><p>"So where are you taking me?" Olivia asked, her eyes dancing with humor as she reached out to a hook near the door where she had left her coat. She quickly slipped it on and tied the belt before wrapping a scarf around her neck.</p><p>"You'll see…" he teased, hastily rebuttoning his own coat, "…can I take you for a drink, Lieutenant Benson?"</p><p>"You can take me anywhere you want, ADA Barba," Olivia smiled, then she stepped through the door and took his hand.</p>
<hr/><p>An hour later, they rounded the corner and Olivia gasped at Rafael. "Are you <em>serious?"</em> She grinned, her eyes dancing with excitement.</p><p>They'd walked an unusual route after the bar and she genuinely hadn't realised where they were heading.</p><p>Olivia beamed at him and Rafael felt his heart skip a beat - for the rest of his life, he wanted to be the man who got to make Olivia Benson happy. "I know that you wanted to go…and well…" he smiled and shrugged.</p><p>She laughed happily and threw her arms around him, glancing over at the silhouettes on the door and then pulling back to kiss him. "Rafa, you could have taken me anywhere this evening and it would have been the best date of my life…but this is something else!"</p><p>"So I'm definitely getting some action tonight?" Rafael joked.</p><p>Olivia leaned in and murmured against his ear, her lips tracing his skin and making him shudder. "I'm going to eat you whole," she growled.</p><p>"That's it, I don't care what I have to do to find tickets, I'm taking you to see Hamilton every week!" Barba joked.</p><p>She linked their hands. "I'm excited to see the show," she assured, "…but I would have loved every moment of my date with you if you'd brought me for a Big Mac. I love you, Rafael Barba."</p><p>Rafael leaned in and kissed just under her ear. "I love you too, Olivia Benson. Now let's get inside so we can experience <em>this</em> masterpiece…then I want to go home so that I can experience another."</p><p>Olivia laughed and they walked inside.</p>
<hr/><p>"Rafa, it was wonderful...magical..." Olivia said almost dreamily as they walk through the crowded lobby after the show, "...even better than I expected...and I expected a lot."</p><p>"It <em>was</em> breathtaking," Rafael readily agreed.</p><p>"You keep taking my breath away, mi amor," Olivia teased with an affectionate smile as she stepped closer and linked their arms. "The show was perfect, seeing it with you was..." Her voice caught and Rafael pulled her closer. "When you took my hand, after they lost their son..." she trailed off and then added, "...I would never have wanted to see this with anyone else. This evening was perfect," she repeated.</p><p>As they approached some steps Rafael moved to link their hands.</p><p>"I can tell you another thing," Olivia smiled, trying to lift the mood.</p><p>"What's that?" Rafael asked.</p><p>She leaned in and whispered into his ear, "I don't know about Eliza, but I know that you're always going to keep me more than<em> satisfied."</em></p><p>Barba chuckled, "Good to know, Lieutenant." He felt Olivia's arm tense and he glanced at her.</p><p>She froze, her mouth slightly open and her eyes wide.</p><p>Rafael followed her gaze and saw a middle-aged couple walking just to the left of them toward the exit.</p><p>The man seemed to look over at them on instinct and he looked like he'd seen a ghost, his partner looked over and appeared to be equally shocked. Was he the only person out of the loop here?</p><p>Rafael kept hold of her hand as the couple approached.</p><p>"Liv…" The man said with a sharp nod.</p><p>Rafael felt her grip on his hand tighten. Who was this? A perp? Should he be worried? Although if this was a perp Olivia's reaction seemed off. Then he heard her response.</p><p>"Elliot, Kathy…it's been a while…" She replied tightly.</p><p><em>Elliot Stabler,</em> Rafael realised,<em> Olivia's old partner.</em></p><p>"It has…" Stabler smiled tightly, "…how's things?"</p><p>"How's things?" Olivia's eyebrows raised. "You walked out of the precinct without so much as a 'Goodbye, Liv, have a nice life' and now I get 'how's things?'?"</p><p>"Olivia…" Kathy started.</p><p>"I really don't think you have any input here," Olivia cut her off.</p><p>"You sound like I ran off with <em>your</em> husband," Kathy straightened up defensively, "…you don't get to tell me if or when I'm allowed to talk, Olivia."</p><p>"I don't really want to talk to either of you…" Olivia retorted quietly. "Why are you even here?"</p><p>"I still have some associates in the city," Elliot rejoined, "…a contact at the DA's office managed to get me some tickets and Kathy wanted to see the show."</p><p>"Oh, so you did manage to stay in touch with a few people then?" Olivia asked dryly.</p><p>"He didn't owe you anything, Olivia," Kathy pointed out.</p><p><em>"Seriously?"</em> Olivia asked, genuinely shocked by her defensive tone.</p><p>Rafael sighed, "Look, we're all here to have a nice evening, why don't we just…"</p><p>"This really has fuck all to do with you," Elliot looked Rafael up and down with an expression nearing disdain, "…whoever the hell you are."</p><p>"Oh,<em> hell</em> no!" Olivia glared. "You don't get to walk up to me in a public place, act offended when I can't pretend as though nothing has happened, and then discard Rafael like he doesn't even factor into the conversation."</p><p>Elliot laughed dryly, assuming that Rafael was simply a 'date'. He'd heard about Olivia from contacts over the years and he knew that she still quickly saw off any relationships that even began to approach 'serious'. "In what way could he possibly be a<em> factor </em>in anything?"</p><p>"He's more than a <em>factor</em> in anything concerning me. Rafael is my closest friend, father to my son, the love of my life…and more of a <em>man</em> than you could ever be!" Olivia hissed with a fierceness that all three found a little unexpected. "When you knew me I'd been left behind by everyone in my life. So I guess it turns out that you weren't anything special, even though I'm sure that you'd like to think you were. You were a symptom, El, a symptom of what I felt I deserved - which I guess was a little bit less than what was on offer to everyone else." She looked at him pointedly, "I've always been drawn to people who claim to care about me, but ultimately only wanted me to meet their own expectations."</p><p>Olivia stopped talking and closed her eyes for a second. She let out a long breath, then when she opened her eyes again the anger had faded and she smiled. "You know what? Therapy has been worth every penny and I don't even know why I've allowed this encounter to bother me. It's ridiculous…this is all ancient history."</p><p>"Wait, Liv, maybe we could all talk about this? Try to clear the air?" Elliot looked a little surprised by her reaction.</p><p>"No…" Olivia let out a breath and relaxed into Rafael side, "…we're on date night, I just went to see Hamilton with my man and<em> you</em> are totally ruining my buzz."</p><p>Rafael couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at her turn of phrase.</p><p>Olivia looked at Rafael now and smiled, hearing his laughter brought her completely back to the present. It felt like Elliot Stabler was part of another life, a life that didn't feature her son, or the man she loved, so a life she no longer felt the need to revisit. "Can we just get out of here, Rafa?" She asked.</p><p>"You're sure you don't want to talk to him? To them? We could…?" Rafael started.</p><p>Olivia leaned in to kiss him, "What I want to do is go back to enjoying <em>our</em> evening, mi amor. Let's leave the past where it belongs. There really is nothing left to talk about." She looked back at Elliot and Kathy, actually enjoying the matching look of shock on their faces. "I hope that you both have an amazing life," she smiled genuinely at them and then turned away.</p><p>Rafael shrugged a little and followed her lead, walking with her toward the exit again.</p><p>"So that was the famous Elliot Stabler?" He asked casually as they left the building.</p><p><em>"Mmmm…"</em> Olivia smiled and unlinked their hands before snuggling into his side as they walked out onto the cold New York streets, "…it was."</p><p>"He's not what I imagined," Rafael observed thoughtfully, "…although, I really couldn't tell you exactly what I expected."</p><p>Olivia laughed, "Is that a good thing?"</p><p>Rafael considered for a second and then replied honestly, "Will you judge me if I admit that I hated him on sight?"</p><p>Olivia laughed louder now, "Something else for you and Fin to bond over."</p><p>He raised his eyebrows with interest but decided that conversation could wait for another time. "Are you really okay?" Rafael checked in.</p><p>Olivia stopped and turned toward him on the sidewalk, she wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled against his neck. "Honestly, right now I'm struggling to even remember what all the fuss was about. My initial reaction was instinctive, but why would I care about<em> him</em> when I'm here with you?"</p><p>They kissed briefly and someone muttered 'get a room' as they edged around them on the crowded sidewalk.</p><p>Rafael laughed a little into their kiss and Olivia took two steps back until she felt the theatre wall behind her.</p><p>"So do you want to go for a drink? Or maybe food?" Rafael asked.</p><p>Olivia slowly shook her head, "I want to go home, I don't want to waste that empty apartment."</p><p>He laughed, "Livia, you're insatiable…" he leaned in and kissed her. Making out on the street had not been Rafael's style for some time - but then he'd never had such inspiring company.</p><p>"For you? Endlessly…" she teased and kissed him again.</p><p>Neither even noticed when Elliot and Kathy walked right passed them while looking for a cab - Elliot glanced at them a little sourly and Kathy shot her husband an irritated look.</p><p>"Cab?" Rafael asked against her lips.</p><p>"Let's walk a block or two first? It will be easier and we could pick up some pizza…?" Olivia suggested. "After all, I'm going to need you well fuelled."</p><p>Rafael rolled his eyes, then grabbed her hand and pulled her quickly through the crowd as Olivia laughed at his haste.</p><p>"Rafa, I was thinking more of a romantic evening stroll," she called out happily as she was tugged around the corner.</p><p>"Pizza. Home. Bed." Rafael called back.</p><p>Olivia laughed at his uncharacteristically monosyllabic response. "You're such a caveman, Rafa," she teased and then quickened her stride slightly just as Rafael slowed.</p><p>They carried on walking side by side - now in perfect step with each other as the evening's intrusion vanished from both of their minds.</p><p> </p><p>
        <em>TBC…</em>
      </p><p> </p></div></div></div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>joyfulmariskahgt inspired me to include a brief sprinkling of Elliot. He won't be back! 😆</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Show & Tell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>For the musical theatre geeks - in my head, Noah's teacher Marisha is definitely Marisha Wallace 🤩</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Noah stood and made his way to the front of class, he looked around at his classmates a little nervously and then smiled at his teacher before standing at the front and facing the room.</p><p>"Right, Noah," his teacher, Marisha Jenkins, said with a warm smile, "…why don't you tell us what you've brought in to show us, and why?"</p><p></p><div class="xcontrast">
  <p>"Okay, Mrs Jenkins, I've brought my notebook…" Noah started slowly and winced almost imperceptibly when he heard laughter from a couple of boys at the back of the room.</p>
  <p>"Your notebook?" Marisha asked. "Why don't you tell everyone why you've brought that for Show &amp; Tell."</p>
  <p>Noah thought back to the advice he'd been given the evening before.</p>
  <p>"My Uncle Rafa told me that I should bring something that means a lot to me. Or that…" he thought carefully, "…or that can stand in for that thing…the something I want to talk about."</p>
  <p>Marisha nodded, "Another word for that is 'represents', Noah. It <em>represents</em> what you want to tell us about. Have you heard of that word before?"</p>
  <p>Noah frowned thoughtfully and then nodded, he felt like maybe Uncle Rafa had used that word the evening before when they'd been talking about today.</p>
  <p>"So why don't you tell us all about your notebook, Noah?"</p>
  <p>"It's my research book…" Noah began, "…when I decided that I wanted Uncle Rafa to live with me and mommy I used this book to write down all the useful advice people told me."</p>
  <p>"Advice?" Marisha prompted him further.</p>
  <p>"Well…my mommy told me that grown-ups who live together are usually special friends, so I needed to find out if mommy and Uncle Rafa were special friends. Uncle Sonny told be that grown-up special friends are usually 'in love', and that they take care of each other." He looked at his teacher, "Miss Arlington told me that people in love ask about each other's days, and then Lucy told me that grown-ups in love look at each other like something yummy…like ice cream."</p>
  <p>There was a flutter of laughter around the room, but this time it didn't seem mean, so Noah smiled a little and started to relax.</p>
  <p>"Miss Arlington? So all of this happened last year?" Marisha confirmed.</p>
  <p>Noah nodded, "After asking all of my questions I talked to my Uncle Rafa. He told me that someone who loved my mommy would love her more than anything else in the world and love me that much as well…" Noah held on to his book tightly.</p>
  <p>"So<em> why </em>does that book mean <em>so</em> much to you, Noah?" Marisha encouraged.</p>
  <p>"One day, Mom and Uncle Rafa said thank you to me, they said that my research helped them…" Noah smiled, "…and now I get to have everything I wanted. Uncle Rafa loves my Mom very much, and she is very happy…and we get to keep Uncle Rafa forever, because he is going to be my Dad."</p>
  <p>"You really did all that?" Marisha asked with a smile. She had met Rafael Barba a few times since becoming Noah's teacher. She had always found him to be extremely kind - he had a sharp wit that Marisha appreciated and she was impressed by how engaged he was with Noah's development.</p>
  <p>Noah nodded, "Mommy told me that she thinks maybe she loved Uncle Rafa forever, but she needed my help to realise that she didn't need to be scared anymore. I think maybe she was worried that Uncle Rafa did not love her…but that was silly."</p>
  <p>Marisha laughed softly, "Silly?"</p>
  <p>"Mmmm…" Noah thought carefully and then tried to explain, "My mom is <em>amazing</em> and Uncle Rafa is very clever, so of course he loves her. He almost always looked at my mom like ice cream, but now she is man-te-cado - his favorite flavor. Uncle Rafa makes Mom smile too, even though her job can sometimes be very sad…and they laugh a lot, which makes me happy as well."</p>
  <p>"So why bring in your book this week?" She enquired, encouraging him to share as much as he felt comfortable.</p>
  <p>Noah looked around the room at his friends and was pleased to see that they all looked genuinely interested now. "This weekend is our special weekend," he explained, "it's one year since I helped Mom and Uncle Rafa decide that we were going to become a real family. So this weekend we'll have a party. We have all lived together for…" he paused and thought, then settled on, "…since before Christmas…and this weekend Uncle Rafa will become my dad <em>forever</em>."</p>
  <p>"I think that deserves a clap," the teacher encouraged the class and they all clapped.</p>
  <p>Noah smiled, "I've got my dad forever now, so has my mom. I've even got a cat called Harry…but Uncle Rafa, I mean my <em>dad,</em> he said that I couldn't bring Harry for Show &amp; Tell because Harry wouldn't enjoy school as much as I do."</p>
  <p>Marisha nodded, "That was very sensible of your new dad, Noah. In fact, that goes for everyone - absolutely <em>no</em> pets for Show &amp; Tell, okay?"</p>
  <p>A hand shot up in the corner.</p>
  <p>"Yes, Katie, that includes hamsters, no living animals for Show &amp; Tell…" she continued.</p>
  <p>Another hand shot up.</p>
  <p>"And yes, José, that <em>does</em> include your fish. Fish do not like to travel either…" She smiled patiently. "Does anyone have any questions for Noah?"</p>
  <p>One of the boys in the back row put his hand up.</p>
  <p>"Yes, Dante?" Marisha nodded at him.</p>
  <p>"What does your new dad do for a job?" He asked.</p>
  <p>Noah smiled, "He's a lawyer, he used to work with my mom helping her to lock up bad people…but now he is a children's lawyer."</p>
  <p>Dante's eyebrows shot up, "He locks up <em>kids?!"</em></p>
  <p>Marisha smiled and shook her head, "I've actually talked to Noah's dad about his job - he's what is called a <em>child advocate.</em> So if a child is in trouble and they need help he talks to them about what they want, he goes into court and speaks up for them, and then he makes sure that they understand what is happening. His job is to always be on the child's side. It's a <em>very</em> important job."</p>
  <p>Dante clearly looked impressed by that and Noah grinned proudly.</p>
  <p>"Maybe one day soon I could have a chat with Noah's dad about coming into class and talking to you all about what he does. Would you like that?" Marisha suggested.</p>
  <p>There were lots of nods and sounds of agreement.</p>
  <p>"Okay, one more question…" Marisha looked around, "…Jacob?"</p>
  <p>Noah's friend Jacob smiled, "What's your favorite thing to do with your new dad?"</p>
  <p>He thought carefully, "Mmmm…seeing the penguins, story-time, movies, Lego, eating cinnamon pretzels, seeing the planets…and the dinosaurs. I love spending time with my new dad doing anything…or nothing at all…but I think I love it the most when we're all together - me, mom and my dad - because that's when we're all the most happy."</p>
  <p>"Thank you, Noah," Marisha said warmly, "…and I know that we all hope you enjoy your party this weekend."</p>
  <p>Noah smiled and walked back to his seat, then as he sat he carefully put his notebook safely into his pack.</p>
  <hr/>
  <p>Later that afternoon, Noah rush home from school excitedly. He refused the offer of a hot chocolate stop and forced Lucy to have to almost trot alongside him to keep up.</p>
  <p>"It's our party tomorrow!" Noah said happily as he ran up the steps to his apartment.</p>
  <p>"I know, Noah. I'm invited, remember?" Lucy smiled at Noah and then nodded at Jack as they headed for the elevator.</p>
  <p>Jack saluted Noah from behind his security desk and then winked at Lucy.</p>
  <p>Noah pressed the button and smiled up at his nanny, "We sign all of the papers with the judge tomorrow, I'm going to have a proper dad!"</p>
  <p>"You've had a proper dad all year, Noah, but tomorrow you get paperwork…it's going to be<em> official!" </em>She reminded him.</p>
  <p>Noah grinned excitedly, then as the door opened he ran off the elevator and searched through his pocket for his 'big boy' house keys. "I've got it!" He called back as he opened the door.</p>
  <p>"Is your mom's bag there?" Lucy called down the hall as she walked to catch him up.</p>
  <p>"Yes!" Noah called back, "And my dad's!" He added proudly.</p>
  <p>Lucy smiled, "I'm going to go then, I have a date tonight!"</p>
  <p>Noah nodded and ran back over. He hugged Lucy and said goodbye, before turning and walking back through the door. He felt like a<em> really</em> big boy as he shut the door and then stretched up to hang his coat on his own (slightly lower) hook. He walked through and put his pack on the coffee table then looked around. It was very quiet.</p>
  <p>He walked toward his Mom <em>and</em> Dad's bedroom, then at the last moment he lifted his hand to knock, just as he had been taught to do - grown-up private time was very important. He heard something bang, and then a funny little cry.</p>
  <p>"Mom?" He called out through the door.</p>
  <p>"N-Noah, I just - We just - Just a moment!" Olivia called out.</p>
  <p>"Is Un…I mean, Dad…is Dad in there as well?" Noah asked through the door, his hand still on the handle.</p>
  <p>"YES!" Rafael called out. "Just one second…I'm…I've just had a…shower…"</p>
  <p>Noah smiled a little, they sounded very funny, maybe they had a surprise?</p>
  <p>"I'm going in for my…my shower now. Dad will be out in a moment!" Olivia called out and then suddenly the door opened and Rafael arrived in front of Noah, almost as though he had been pushed through.</p>
  <p>Noah smiled up at him, "Hey!"</p>
  <p>Rafael grinned at him with wide eyes, he looked a little out of breath and his cheeks looked flushed.</p>
  <p>"Have you been…" Noah thought and then suggested, "…moving tables?"</p>
  <p>"Just…" Rafael lost his train of thought, then grabbed Noah by his shoulders and turned him toward the kitchen. "Hot Chocolate?" He suggested quickly.</p>
  <p>"Your hair isn't even wet…" Noah observed as he watched his dad pour milk into the machine.</p>
  <p>"I heard you and…I didn't…I mean…or I got out of the shower…before I had a shower…" Rafael struggled.</p>
  <p>"Dad…" Noah smiled at him and bit his lip, "…were you and Mom kissing again?"</p>
  <p>Rafael turned around and looked at him with a look of pure horror that made Noah giggle.</p>
  <p>"You and Mom like kissing…" he observed.</p>
  <p>"We do, we…" Rafael stumbled over his words and then admitted a half-truth, "…we arrived home from work and decided to have a lie-down…and yes, we were kissing a little as well."</p>
  <p>Noah smiled.</p>
  <p>"We're ordering take out…" Rafael told him, hoping to move the conversation forward.</p>
  <p>"I like take out," Noah nodded. It wasn't a very exciting surprise though, in fact, he preferred his dad's food to take out.</p>
  <p>Rafael smiled and ruffled his curly hair as he placed the hot chocolate down in front of Noah.</p>
  <p>Noah nodded and sipped his drink, "Mmmmmm…salted caramel!"</p>
  <p>"Actually, I think I'll join you," Rafael decided and turned back to the machine.</p>
  <hr/>
  <p>Two hours later, Noah looked over the multitude of Chinese takeout boxes all over the coffee table. He was practically bouncing off the walls with excess energy.</p>
  <p>"Are you excited about tomorrow, mijo?" Rafael asked with a smile as he watched Noah bounce up and down while sitting on the floor waiting for the food to be served.</p>
  <p>"You're becoming my Dad...<em>forever!"</em> Noah grinned.</p>
  <p>"And?" Olivia laughed.</p>
  <p>"And...?" Noah asked.</p>
  <p>"We're getting married," She reminded him with an amused smile.</p>
  <p>Noah laughed and nodded, "I'm very excited about that too, are you?"</p>
  <p>Olivia nodded emphatically. "It's a bit like we're all getting married, isn't it? You're getting a dad and I'm getting a husband…" She edged closer to Rafael on the couch and leaned into his side.</p>
  <p>Rafael reached out and picked up a large box of chow mien, emptying some onto each of their plates.</p>
  <p>"Like you're adopting Dad?" Noah asked with a grin as he picked out a noodle and tilted his head back to drop it into his mouth.</p>
  <p>Olivia picked up a shrimp chip and threw it at her son.</p>
  <p>Noah giggled, picked it up off his shirt and bit into it with a loud crunch. "I'm glad you love my mom," Noah told Rafael after a few moments, then added, "…and I'm glad we're family."</p>
  <p>Rafael moved down to sit with Noah on the floor, then he smiled when Olivia did the same. He leaned in and pressed a kiss to Olivia's temple, then he smiled at his son. "I'll always love you and your mami, mijo, and we'll always be family…" he assured and then started to sort through the rest of their food.</p>
  <p> </p>
  <p>
    <strong> <em>THE END</em> </strong>
  </p>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Done! I've enjoyed this one...I kind of love regressing into the mind of a child! 😂</p><p>Thanks for all the lovely/motivational comments xx</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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